A simple request from each zodiac sign

As we enter the exciting, glittering Gemini season, we look to Lord Scott Disick to be our guide as he celebrates his birthday. What a time!

Gemini season is all about communication. Ruled by Mercury, Gemini is about words, words, words — so it’s important to make sure your message is clear! So what are the signs trying to tell us? 

Aries: Please don’t drive under the speed limit.

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Aries needs to go, go, go! They need movement! They need to hit the gas! They need you to know that “under the speed limit” means anything that isn’t ten ABOVE the legal speed limit!

Taurus: Please don’t wake me from my nap until my REM cycle is complete.

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Hello, have you heard of Sleep Cycle? There are apps that monitor where you’re at in your REM cycle and set an alarm time window so you can wake up at your most rested and evade grogginess. Tauruses know this. Do you?

Gemini: Please let me tell you about this thing I just read.

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Gemini is a talker, a connector, a reader, a consumer of all media. Let them tell you about the cool thing they just learned. You could learn something too!

Cancer: Please stay away from my file labeled ‘secret love poetry.

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Cancer is romantic, mushy, and private. They’ll tell you what they’re thinking when they’re ready, but until that point, no prying allowed! 

Leo: Please take a few more from different angles.

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Poor Leo is everyone else’s greatest iPhone photographer, and when it comes time for their friends to return the favor, they get one (!!??) horizontal (!!??) photo that cuts their body in half. Do better, gang. It’s graduation photo time. You should know by know — multiple takes, multiple angles. Go vertical or go home.

Virgo: Please respect our fridge’s organization system.

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Virgo loves creating a system for efficiency, if only the people around them would honor it. It’s not that hard to put your groceries in their designated spots. Now work on how you interact with their bathroom system. 

Libra: Please give me a hug and a kiss.

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Libra just wants to be loved! Libra is the sign of partnership, the zodiac’s truest romantic, and among its most affectionate! Consider this a reminder to tell the Libras in your life that you love them today.

Scorpio: Please don’t talk to me. 

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Look, if you’ve been quarantined with a Scorpio for more than two months at this point, just know they’re not in a chatty mood. Check in with where they’re at before you launch a lengthy conversation. They just wanted to grab a cup of water from the kitchen.

Sagittarius: Please let me go outside.

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Alright, so this is all of us, definitely, but it is especially Sagittarius. The archer just wants to roam, be free of restrictions, experience the outdoors, climb a mountain, go to the beach and see their friends! The most adventurous sign in the zodiac wheel doesn’t do well cased in four walls.

A reminder: It’s so, so hard, but please stay inside! It’s better for the world at large! You can do it! We all can!

Capricorn: Please respond to emails in under 2 business days.

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This is a self call-out because keeping up with emails in this time has not been the easiest thing in the world. To a Capricorn though, it should be. Capricorn is inherently structured, and needs to maintain a schedule to hang onto normalcy. 

Aquarius: Please tell me what you think of this theory I have.

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Aquarians are out here reading things. Learning things. Making connections. Forming opinions. An Aquarius always has a theory on hand, and they’re always down to swap ideas. 

Pisces: Please don’t look at me during the sad part of the movie.

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They will be crying. Maybe they won’t care if you see this because they’re the type of Pisces that doesn’t mind open displays of emotion, but don’t look at them when the mom dies. Or when the best man makes a really touching tribute to his best friend getting married. Honestly, you should probably keep your eyes on the screen during any emotional swell of music.

If you liked this story, check out your sign’s biggest pet peeve.

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