A 22-year-old woman is facing a wave of online backlash after sharing the request she asked of a friend in the lead-up to her wedding.
In her explanation, the woman wrote that her friends were “outraged” after she asked one of her bridesmaids to change her appearance — a request that seemed to stir controversy among the post’s commenters.
‘She asked if I was being serious’
The Redditor began by explaining the preparations leading up to her wedding, which, amid the global pandemic, has involved several Zoom meetings with her bridesmaids.
“I (hopefully) will be getting married this October to my amazing fiancé. We’ve been together for 4 years, since we were 18,” the woman wrote.
In a recent call, the soon-to-be-bride asked each of her bridesmaids to send details of how they planned to do their hair and makeup on the big day, which she called a “reasonable request.” Most of the conversations were uneventful, the woman wrote, except for one: with her friend Madeline.
“Madeline is the only one of the group who has hair past her chest, and due to the style, she wouldn’t be able to do the same style as everyone else. I gently suggested that she cut her hair to be able to do the same style as everyone else,” the woman wrote. “She asked if i was being serious and I said yes, that I wasn’t planning on asking but that it seemed a simple thing to do.”
‘It’s only hair’
That simple back and forth seemingly spawned a massive rift among the wedding party, with several of the woman’s friends sharing their disappointment.
“My friends were all pretty outraged over this minor thing,” she wrote. “And now Madeline is saying she doesn’t want to even be my bridesmaid. It’s only hair, it grows back!”
The bride-to-be’s post received nearly 2,000 comments in two days, with the majority of users claiming her request was out of line.
“You do not ask people to change their appearance to be in your wedding,” one user wrote. “Being in the wedding party is about supporting the couple not being dolls for the couple to dress up.”
“I don’t think [you] understand that it’s not about how “simple” whatever they’re asking is. It’s about how entitled you have you feel to ask someone to change their appearance for YOUR event,” another added.
‘Your guests won’t remember’
Others argued that the concern was simply irrelevant, as no one would care or notice if one bridesmaid had a different hairstyle than the others.
“Honestly — and most brides and grooms don’t like to hear this — your guests won’t remember what your centerpieces look like or the exact hairstyle your bridesmaids have. They want to celebrate with you and then get to the open bar, in that order,” one commenter claimed.
Still, some saw the issue as being much deeper, writing that the bride’s behavior indicated a larger issue.
“Not only are [you the a******] but it also sounds like you are in no way mature enough to be getting married. You’re 22 and so self-absorbed about the wedding that you don’t even see how selfish you’re being to your friend,” one commenter wrote.
If you liked this story, check out In The Know’s article on the Reddit user who stirred controversy after sharing why he refused to pay for a drink he ordered someone.
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