Woman enrages family with ‘selfish’ wedding decision: ‘Shut it down’

A woman’s family drama has her wondering if she’s selfish for wanting to keep her hypothetical wedding dress. 

One 23-year-old woman took to Reddit’s “Am I the A******” forum to ask for advice. She explained that in her family, due to strained finances, as the oldest she would have to pass her clothing down to her younger sister and cousins. So when talk came up about the woman’s future wedding (she’s not even engaged), she was heartbroken to discover her sister expected to receive the dress has a hand-me-down too. 

“A few weeks ago I met up with my mother and sister for a chat and we somehow got onto the topic of weddings,” she wrote. “I don’t know why but for whatever reason they expect me to get married first as the oldest of my generation, although I have only been with my boyfriend for eight months and don’t plan on getting married in the next two/three years.” 

Sounds like this family has a lot of expectations. 

“I mentioned a wedding dress I had seen on Pinterest and showed it to them, saying that this was the type of dress I wanted to wear to my wedding one day,” she continued. “My sister then said something along the lines of, ‘God no, that is hideous, I don’t want to wear that on my wedding day.'”

“I thought she was joking but then my mother chimed in and said, ‘No, no, you’ll have to choose something your sister likes as your dress will be passed onto her just like we did with the dress you wore during your first communion! It would be so nice to see all girls of the family wear the same wedding dress,'” she wrote

When the woman said she would be the only one wearing her dress, her mother and sister became furious. 

“My mother and sister got very angry at me, telling me that it would be selfish and that I was depriving the family of a nice tradition. I told them very bluntly that I don’t care about that tradition and that they could all buy their own dresses,” she said. “The wedding isn’t even in the picture yet and they’re already calling me an a******.”  

The Reddit commentariat agreed that this woman was definitely not the wrong party here. 

“Your family expects your sister to basically choose YOUR wedding dress style just so she can wear it? That’s b*******. I would shut it down completely,” a user commented

“That is one of the most ridiculous things I’ve ever heard and it shows clear favoritism towards your sister and what she wants instead of what you want,” another said

“My suggestion: You pick the dress you like and wear it to your wedding. As long as you pay for it yourself, your mom doesn’t have a say on the matter,” someone else wrote

If you liked this story, check out In The Know’s new advice column, Group Chat.

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