Woman mulls breakup after ‘uncomfortable’ argument with boyfriend: ‘So many red flags’

A young woman is arguing with her boyfriend about money and things are getting ugly. 

The 24-year-old is refusing to move in with her 25-year-old boyfriend and went on Reddit “Am I the A******” to find out if she made the right choice. The problem is he expects her to move in and pay half the rent. But she is unemployed and the new rent would be double her current one. Her boyfriend makes nearly 10 times the amount she does and she simply can’t afford the new price, so she asked that he pay the bulk of it. He wouldn’t budge on his position. But here’s the real kicker: she let him live with her rent-free for almost a year. 

“We’ve always lived separately but there was a 9-month period in the beginning of our relationship where he moved in with me because he was having problems with his roommate,” she explained. “He still had to pay his rent so I didn’t ask him to pay anything while he stayed at my apartment those 9 months. Not a single bill.” 

Eventually, the two lived separately again, but now the boyfriend wants to move back in together officially. 

“He wants me to move in with him and split his rent which is way higher than mine,” the girlfriend said. “Let’s say my rent right now is $1,000 and if I were to move in with him, I would be paying $2,000 plus utilities. I can’t afford that. I’m unemployed and using my savings to pay my rent right now. I’m in grad school while he has a full-time job.”

When she asked him why she should have to pay when she can’t afford it and she supported him in the past, things did not go well. 

“When he stayed with me for nine months I didn’t make him pay a thing despite him having ten times more money than me,” she wrote. “He blew up telling me I’m letting my single friends get to me and that he’s not a ‘simp’ or a ’50/50′ type guy. He’s not a ‘finesse’ and he’s not a ‘beta male.’ I was like… OK. He accused me of ‘using’ him for free rent. I’m not that type of person.” 

According to a Reddit comment, “finesse” in this context is slang for a “sucker [or] patsy.”

The girlfriend said she has never asked him for money because he makes so much more. In fact, she buys him gifts but he doesn’t get her anything.

“I told him that I can’t afford his 50/50 proposal and suggested maybe a 25/75 which would be my rent that I’m paying now,” she explained. “He said again that he’s not a finesse and that I’m living in la-la land. “

Reddit pretty much told this young woman to run as fast and far as she can. 

“Run away. So many red flags. The language he uses is very concerning. Plus the idiotic rent ideas,” one user commented

“This should be an enormous red flag with effing fireworks shooting out of the flagpole,” another said

“Girl, run. Fast. Straight out the door. There are so many other issues, like his language, his need to repeatedly claim he’s ‘not a beta’ and his lack of trust are all major red flags,” someone added

If you enjoyed this story, you might also like reading about how your attachment style affects your romantic relationships.

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