Preschool teacher tells parent it’s her child’s own fault for being ‘mistreated’: ‘Did I go too far?’

A teacher wonders if she crossed a line by telling a parent that it’s a student’s “own fault” for being “mistreated” by other students. 

The teacher took to Reddit’s “Am I The A*******” page, to see if others thought her actions were inappropriate. 

In her post, she begins by providing some context about the student in question. According to the poster, the 6-year-old student tends to “report” on other students’ seemingly bad behavior. 

“If someone sits 3 inches from where they’re supposed to sit, [he] runs to us to report. Someone spills a drop of milk on the table, report,” she explains. 

This type of behavior has led other students to distance themselves from him. 

“They have even stopped playing with him outside of school … Kids tell us that they feel like they have to walk on eggshells around him and it’s tiring,” writes the teacher. 

After providing some background, the teacher moves on to outline the central issue and the reason for her post. Apparently, another student had an upcoming birthday party and invited everyone in the class except this one student that others had taken issue with. Soon after, the student’s mother got involved. 

“She told us we had to force [the birthday host] to invite [her] son by any means possible. When we said we have no control over what happens after school and that no, we can NOT call a meeting with all parents and tell them they have to make their kids spend time with him as she wants us to, she was furious,” explains the teacher. 

Then, apparently the student’s mother called the birthday girl’s mother and “shouted at her for not inviting him.” 

Eventually, the birthday party happened and the student was not invited despite his mother’s fury. The day after the party, the mother shows up to the school to yell at the teacher calling her “useless” and “incompetent.”  

“I had enough. Told her that he isn’t completely innocent though as we had had many talks and he was excluded because of his own behavior towards others and based on what we’ve seen and heard, it’s pretty understandable,” said the teacher.

The angry parent started shouting at the teacher, telling her she was going to lose her job. The poster ultimately ended up calling security on the parent. 

Finally she asks Redditors, “Did I go too far by saying it’s his own fault for not being invited?”

Reddit completely agreed with the teacher’s approach

The resounding sentiment was that the poster was NTA. 

In fact, many people responded by saying they related to the “tattletale” kid in question.

One of these people wrote, “If anything, the teachers reaching out and trying to resolve the situation (this could easily be the parents emotionally neglecting the child at home – so they act out with manipulation for attention) is going above and beyond what was done in my time.”

Another wisely put it, “Learning the repercussions for our actions in a safe environment while our parents help us navigate is what healthy childhood is about.”

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