College student heartbroken after discovering mom’s ‘toxic’ secret decision-making: ‘You don’t have to forgive her’

A college student couldn’t believe their mother interfered with a job prospect. 

The student posted what happened on Reddit’s “Am I the A******?” forum. They applied for a summer job in another country. When they didn’t hear back from the job, they assumed they didn’t get it. But after the student spoke with their father, they knew their mom had done something awful. 

“So I applied for my dream job (a summer job for next year) a few weeks ago, did the interview, and it actually went pretty well,” the college student explained. “The only catch is that the job is in Australia, which is a pretty far distance away. My parents don’t want me to move away because they’re scared they’re never going to see me again. I’m also the glue that holds the family together, so when I leave, then the family might struggle.

“After not hearing back from them, I assumed I didn’t get the job, and while disappointed, I decided to move on and focus on college. I called my dad a couple of days ago, and we got chatting about jobs, and I told him how I moved on from the job, to which he responded, ‘But you got the job didn’t you?'”

It took a moment for the student to put what had happened together, but eventually, they got to the bottom of things. 

“I sat there in confused silence for a moment before he proceeded to tell me that they had called last week and my mom had spoken to them,” the Reddit poster said. “She then apparently told my dad I had decided not to take the job. I didn’t say anything to my dad, and I hung up a few minutes later to call my mom.

“Very angrily, I confronted her, and she admitted that she turned down the offer on my behalf because she didn’t want me to leave. She then said that I couldn’t have cared that much about the job because I’d gotten over not getting it. I completely blew up at her, and we haven’t spoken since. My dad’s asked me to reach out to her, as he thinks it’s time to forgive her, but I’m still really angry.” 

Redditors felt the mom crossed a line by turning down the job. 

“Even if your mother didn’t want you to go, what she did was extremely selfish and toxic,” a user wrote

“You don’t have to forgive her, and she doesn’t deserve to be forgiven,” another said

“That was not her choice to make,” someone commented

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