Mom sparks debate after asking her daughter to find more ‘sociable’ hobbies: ‘Stop trying to make her into you’

A mom doesn’t approve of her 19-year-old daughter’s gaming hobby. 

She consulted Reddit’s “Am I the A******? (AITA)” forum for advice. During the lockdown, her daughter took up gaming as a hobby. Now that the teen is in college, she has only become more invested in esports. But the mother thinks gaming isn’t social enough. 

“I have a 19-year-old daughter who is smart, kind and beautiful,” the mom wrote. “Since COVID-19 hit, she has changed her hobbies and interests and is very much stuck in this phase of her life. She bought herself an Xbox at the beginning of 2020 and started gaming. Her obsession grew, and, because of the mandates, it was easy for her to become addicted to it.

“She took a gap year, and when we started thinking about the colleges she should apply to, I suggested she should apply to the Northern University in our state and rush for a sorority (I was in one). But she said she would rather go to a limited-greek-life school. She said that she thinks that sorority life is fake and [that] she wouldn’t be able to form any emotional connections. I took this offensively because I was in one at her age, so I don’t know why she would have this narrative.”

Even after her daughter went to college, the mom still felt her daughter’s hobbies were inappropriate. 

“Now, she’s in college. She’s doing great,” the mom explained. “Again, she’s a beautiful girl and has many friends. But she’s only become more interested in this gaming thing. She has a ‘setup’ in her room, where she has spent her own money on a gaming chair and more. She has anime books, and she watches anime, too. I sat her down a few days ago and told her she should find more sociable hobbies, and she became so angry at me, saying that I’m trying to make her into me and that I’m obsessed with her popularity.

“I tried to calm her down, but she refuses to believe that I just want what’s best for her. A few of my husband’s friends and I have girls her age who are in greek life, have fun group outting and inclusive hobbies. So I just don’t get it. She has many friends and is very pretty. I just want her to have healthier and more productive habits.”

Redditors thought the mom was out of line. 

“Stop trying to control your kid,” a user said

“Let her be, and stop trying to make her into you,” another said

“She’s her own person with her own interests. Not some hand-me-down version of you,” someone added

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