A woman is wondering if she should have called her boyfriend out on his birthday.
She took to Reddit’s “Am I the A******? (AITA)” forum for advice. Her fiancé comes from a wealthy family that pressures her to behave a certain way. On his birthday, his family was concerned she wouldn’t buy him an expensive enough gift. When she opted for something handmade, things exploded at his birthday party.
“My (female, 24) fiancé (male, 25) comes from a wealthy family, unlike me,” she explained. “His family can be a bit obssessed over looks and status. He’s the only child, so his parents spoil him all the time. He told me once that his mom thinks I should consider wearing brand clothes and makeup, especially when attending their family functions where important people are present. He said he’d pay for everything, but I have a specific style/brand, and I’m comfortable with it, but I put aside a couple outfits to wear when visiting.
“For his birthdays, they do exaggerate with their celebration, and for his 25th birthday, they reserved a restaurant for the occasion and sent out invitations. I heard that, inside their invitations, they included a list of acceptable/expensive gifts to bring. His mom sent me one, which had me like, WTF? I called her, and she apologetically said, ‘Well, he REALLY wants this. He will be disappointed if he doesn’t get this.’ I told her really it’s between him and [me]. I decided to gift him a handmade gift, which was a floral frame for our future wedding photo to put on the counter. He said his parents won’t be happy and will think I’m being cheap. He offered to get a pair of expensive Nike shoes, and all I had to do is act like I got it for him in front of his parents to get them off our back. I refused and said this is my gift and [that] I won’t pretend.”
But on the day of the birthday party, her boyfriend went behind her back.
“At the party and when he was opening gifts, I found out that he opened some box and pulled out Nike shoes and acted thrilled while thanking me for getting them for him,” she wrote. “I was confused. I said this wasn’t my gift and started looking for it among the other gifts. I asked where he put the floral frame, and he acted dumb. I got so mad. I told him in front of his parents that he shouldn’t have lied about what I originally gifted him and that if he was ashamed of it, then I [would] be keeping it. His family and friends were staring silently. His mom tried to follow me outside, but I got into an Uber and left.
“He texted me and was livid, saying he was just trying to protect me from his family’s criticism about the handmade gift I was planning to give him and said I could’ve played along and [gotten] this over with. Instead, I exposed him when he was just trying to get his family to understand that I’m not being cheap. I went to stay with a friend and haven’t spoken to him yet after this. I did tell him about how his family is behaving, and he agrees they can be a bit shallow sometimes, but he also said he’s nothing without them and cannot be arguing with them after all they’ve done for him.”
Redditors didn’t think the couple handled the situation well at all.
“BF is the AH for doing his fake gift shenanigans, even when OP didn’t agree to that arrangement and said she wouldn’t pretend,” a user commented.
“He is upset about [being] called out on it, but he has no remorse at all,” a person wrote.
“Y’all are incompatible. It’s not that you’re different — it’s that you’re unwilling to compromise,” someone added.
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