He asked Reddit’s “Am I the A******” forum for advice. After a wedding planning session, his fiancee asked him if he was OK with her being a “stay-at-home wife.” At first, he thought she was joking. When he realized she wasn’t, he became furious at the thought of being the sole breadwinner.
“I am engaged to who I feel is ‘the one.’ We had been dating for just over three years, and I proposed last month,” he explained. “After another session of wedding planning, my fiancee asked if I would be alright with her being a stay-at-home wife. At first, I laughed because I thought she was joking. She told me not to laugh and said she wants to be a stay-at-home wife. I asked her why, as we both make pretty good money at our jobs, and we can’t afford our current lifestyle with just one income. She says it’s because I make a lot more than her, and we could scale back our lifestyle. She said, ‘it’s been on my mind a lot. I think working nine to five just isn’t for me.'”
He tried to understand his fiancee’s request, but she just became more defensive about it.
“I said that I’m not comfortable with that idea and said maybe if we have kids, she could be a stay-at-home mom,” he wrote. “But I’m not cool with her being a stay-at-home wife. And she said that I was being ‘manipulative’ since we’re both child-free. That devolved into a pretty heated argument, with her saying that I should ‘support her dreams’ (she never stated what she wants to do with her staying at home, even though I did ask). In the heat of the moment, I said, ‘where is this coming from, why is it your dream to be a stay-at-home wife? Is it your dream to be lazy?’ She got really upset at that and [went] to her mother’s. I want a partner in life, not a dependant doing nothing productive with their days.”
Reddit users questioned the fiancee’s intentions.
“Dude, I think you’ve been played,” one user said.
“If you and your partner are not on the same page, you aren’t compatible,” another wrote.
“Do not marry this woman,” someone commented.
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