Man calls out girlfriend over her surprise apartment redecorations: ‘Throwing away personal effects is not OK’

A man is upset that his pregnant girlfriend keeps redecorating his apartment

He shared what happened on Reddit’s “Am I the A******? (AITA)” forum. His girlfriend moved in with him when her lease was up. The trouble is that she keeps throwing his things away to replace them with her own. When he confronted her about it, she held her ground. 

“I (29M) have been with my girlfriend (24F) for 2 years now,” he wrote. “We have not lived together before, but she’s currently 18 weeks pregnant so I suggested that she move in with me once her lease was up. It ended at the end of June, so she’s been living with me for almost 3 weeks now.

“While we get along well and overall living together has been great, I’ve noticed that she’s started to change things around my apartment. She only brought a few things over since my apartment is fully furnished so I understand her need to make it feel more like her space.

“Everything in my apartment is mid century modern, it’s a mid century modern building and I bought the apartment because of how much I love that style. Some of the things that she’s suggesting or bringing into the apartment absolutely does not go with that vibe. She’s taken down some of my artwork and replaced it, cleared off shelves I curated and put her knickknacks on it, went through my pantry and cleared out things she thought were unhealthy, all without asking me.

“She works from home while I work in the office so she has a lot more time at the apartment than I do. I just wish she would run things by me first. I’m an architect, she’s an editor and doesn’t have that same designer eye which clearly shows.

“What really bothered me was that she started to throw some things away without asking. I went to take out the trash and saw that some birthday cards I kept were in there. When I asked about it, she said she was just getting rid of ‘clutter’ but her stuff is more like clutter and mine has actual sentimental value. I told her to stop touching things in the apartment and she pointed out that she should have a say because she lives there which I agree with but she doesn’t run anything by me. Now she’s being very avoidant and passive aggressive.”

Redditors shared their thoughts on the couple’s issues. 

“Throwing away personal effects is not ok in my book,” a user said

“I think for me the issue is that neither are talking with each other,” another commented

“She shouldn’t be throwing your stuff out without asking you. Time to sit down, have an adult conversation and come up with a compromise,” someone added. 

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