A woman refused to pay for her husband’s family dinner. But she isn’t sure if she made the right choice.
She explained what happened on Reddit’s “Am I the A******? (AITA)” forum. She and her husband have separate finances. After he got a bonus at work, he invited his whole family out to dinner. But when the bill arrived, he expected his wife to cover it.
“My husband and I don’t share finances,” he explained. “He’d sometimes try to get me to pay for him, but I do it only when I want to do a nice thing for him. This past week, he got a bonus at work. He was overjoyed. He informed his entire family and planned for them to go out and celebrate with us. He picked the restaurant, meals, drinks, etc. I naturally thought he was going to pay for all that since it was his happy celebration.
“But it turns out I was wrong because, when it was time to pay the bill, he told me to ‘take care of it.’ I said, ‘Why?’ It’s his celebration, not mine, but he insisted I pay, and [that] he’ll explain later. I refused and demanded an explanation. He said that while, yes, he is the one who got a bonus, he assumed I’d want to celebrate that and offer to cover the bill.”
She didn’t buy any of her husband’s excuses and refused to cover the costs of the meal.
“When I talked about how ridiculous it was of him to assume I’d pay for not just his but [also] his family’s meals, he said that I should be happy for him instead of being visibly bitter,” she wrote. “He then said he’s yet to receive his bonus and begged that I take care of the bill now and [that] he ‘might’ consider paying me back later. I refused and only paid for what I consumed. He and his family started talking about how inappropriate I was acting.
“I took my purse and went home afterward [because] there was so much commotion when they started arguing about who was going to cover the bill. His mom spam-called me for hours, and he went off on me at home, saying I spoiled his celebration and joy because I’m feeling bitter. He got even more pissed and said that he had had it with my juvenile antics and that he won’t ever forget the scene I made at the restaurant in front of his family. [He’s] been upset with me for days now.”
Redditors thought the wife took the right stance.
“Do not ever blend your finances. It sounds like he feels entitled you your money,” someone wrote.
“Those doing the inviting usually pay the bill unless it was just casual, where everyone knew that they would pay their own meal,” another said.
“He deliberately hid it from you, as he thought he would have more chance of manipulating you into it if he sprung it at the end,” a person commented.
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