A mom-to-be is feuding with her boyfriend over whether her mom should be present during the birth of their child.
She consulted Reddit’s “Am I the A******? (AITA)” forum for advice. Her boyfriend doesn’t want her mom, who is a midwife, present for the childbirth. The mom-to-be, however, insists that her mom’s presence is necessary in order to support her. But the boyfriend thinks he is plenty.
“My partner doesn’t want my mom to be involved in the birth but I do,” she explained. “I’m 38 weeks pregnant and planning a home birth. Tonight we’ve had another argument about it, triggered by the fact that his whole family has COVID-19 at the moment. So [they] won’t be able to come around for a couple of weeks. In his eyes, he has no support system whilst I have everyone I want.
“My main reasons for wanting her there: She’s been through it before and I want a woman’s support who has experienced childbirth. I want someone there whose only job is to support me to allow my partner to enjoy the birth of our first baby, My partner and I had only been together a few months when I fell pregnant, and have only just hit a year together.”
Her boyfriend insisted that he would be enough support for her during childbirth.
“My mom is also a fully trained midwife and having her there is like a security blanket in case anything goes wrong,” she said. “My partner does not have much knowledge about childbirth/biology and I’m worried about how he will react to the gore. In his eyes, only the father should be in the room -he should be enough support for me.”
“He doesn’t want my mom taking his place and pushing him out of the way. I suggested that my mom be there through labor but leave during the ‘pushing’ so that it will be just us when the baby is actually born. He said it would still ruin it for him. I don’t want him to feel excluded from what will be a very special time for both of us. But I also feel like as the one giving birth I have a right to have as much support as I feel I need.”
Redditors sided with the mom-to-be on this one.
“I’ve always been of the opinion that the person pushing a human out of a small hole gets final say on who is in the room,” someone wrote.
“He needs to back off,” another commented.
“Tell him if he can’t accept that your mother will be there, he can’t be there,” a person said.
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