New mom stirs controversy with reaction to her friends’ ‘child-free’ activities: ‘Selfish and unrealistic’

A woman is fed up with her friend demanding to be accommodated. 

She went on Reddit’s “Am I the A******? (AITA)” forum for help. Her friend just had a baby. Their group of friends is all in their 20s, and they like to go out. However, the mother expects all of their friends to stop partying and only do child-friendly activities now. 

“My friend recently had a baby,” she explained. “We are in our mid-20s, so we’re still very much the type to go out and have fun at bars, parties, nightclubs and travel to new places. I’ve always supported her, even planned her baby shower for her and got her home ready for when she came back with her newborn. But recently, she went off on me because I apparently do not accommodate her and her child.

“She brought up the fact that, after her baby shower, a few of us in our [friend group] went out to a local bar we always go to, and she couldn’t go because she was very pregnant, and they smoke inside that bar. I asked her what the issue was. I had spent the entire day making sure she didn’t lift a finger for her baby shower. My friends wanted to treat me to some drinks after all the hard work I did. It was after we had cleaned up for her baby shower, and she was even complaining about how tired she was.”

The mom accused the Reddit poster and their friends of purposefully excluding her. 

“She then said that I always want to go out to places that aren’t child-friendly, and that wasn’t fair to her because she deserves to hang out with her friends, too,” the Reddit poster wrote. “She actually does hang out with us all the time. Every few weeks, our friend group does a barbecue where she can bring the baby around us and hang out with us. We even visit her on separate occasions just to spend time with her or invite her out to lunch.

“She got very upset that a few of us went to a new bar and [that] she couldn’t make it because of the baby. We did invite her in case she could spare a few hours, but that didn’t happen. I simply replied, ‘I’m sorry you’re feeling that way, but we’re a bunch of single, 20-something-year-old people working 10 hours a day 40 to 70 hours a week ad wanted to have a drink or two. We didn’t choose to have a kid with you. Therefore, we don’t have to always worry about accommodating you. You had a baby; life changed for you. I have no issue making more time for you, but I’m not going to stop going to some of my favorite places with some of my favorite people whenever I want to and can because you have other responsibilities now.’ She got very very angry and hung up on me.”

Redditors thought the mom was being ridiculous. 

“I think your friend is having a hard time leaving her child-free life behind,” someone wrote.  

“It’s not fair or reasonable for you all to drop your fun-time plans because she became a parent,” another commented

“Her expecting you to only ever do things that she can bring her baby to is selfish and unrealistic,” a person said.

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