A woman wondered if she offended her husband’s family by serving macaroni and cheese.
She asked Reddit’s “Am I the A******? (AITA)” forum to weigh in. She just had a baby and has been too exhausted for visitors, including her in-laws. Her husband unexpectedly invited her in-laws over for dinner, and when he demanded she cook, she served them mac and cheese. Her husband’s side of the family was outraged.
“My husband (Asian) and I (American) welcomed our firstborn four weeks ago. The baby is healthy (thank God), but I’m exhausted, haven’t fixed my hair, [am] barely able to shower and cannot sleep. My husband’s family had been pressuring us to visit to meet the baby. I tried to hold them off as much as I could, but yesterday, I was surprised to find them standing on the porch. [It] turns out [that] hubby invited them for dinner. I was embarrassed and felt like I wasn’t ready for visitors (judgmental ones at that 😉) ’cause the house was a M.E.S.S., y’all.
“Anyways, my husband sat with them while I fed my son. Then, later, I asked my husband if we should order takeout for dinner. He said ‘NO’ because his parents would find this rude and unwelcoming. He suggested that I go inside the kitchen and prepare something — anything [as] long as it’s ‘homemade.’ I said, ‘Fine,’ then went and made some mac and cheese. The reason I prepared this meal is because of how easy it is.
“Once I served the family, my husband’s mom looked at me and was appalled. I noticed something was wrong. She asked if I really found it ‘appropriate’ to serve her and the family mac and cheese. I asked, ‘Why not?’ and she went on a rant about how disrespectful this was and that I clearly have no experience in what is right and wrong when it comes to hosting. I said, ‘Excuse me? Who said I signed up to host an expected visit from them?’ And she took it [to mean] I didn’t want them there.
“My husband said that deciding to serve his family mac and cheese was more offensive than serving them nothing at all. I told him I was too exhausted to cook their ‘traditional feasts,’ that I was forced to learn from his mom. He took offense and said that I was being mean and disrespectful towards not only his family but his culture. I went inside the bedroom to stay with my son. My husband stayed on the phone with his family for an hour, then kept giving me the cold shoulder and refused to eat what I cook in support of his family.”
Redditors didn’t think the mom was at fault here.
“I’m Asian, and, if anything, it’d be my relatives coming over and bringing me food. No one would expect an exhausted new mother to cook a whole feast,” a person commented.
“Asian here, and in my tradition, the family is supposed to bring YOU food. Not the other way around,” another wrote.
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