Woman baffled by boyfriend’s ‘selfish’ plan for buying their first home: ‘Don’t marry or have kids with this guy’

A woman is at odds with her boyfriend over their plans to buy a home.

She asked Reddit’s “Am I the A******?” to weigh in. Her boyfriend makes three times more money than she does. When they decided to buy a house together, she wanted something they could both afford equally. Instead, the boyfriend is demanding a more expensive home, while doing little to contribute to household chores. 

“My boyfriend and I have been dating for some time now, and we are getting to the next stage of our relationship,” she explained. “He makes way more money than me and works way fewer hours than I do. I work twice as hard as he does to make three times less. We currently split all financial obligations now 50/50; rent, bills, groceries, etc.

“When discussing house budgets, he started off with a number that I cannot afford half of. He then compromised and lowered slightly, but still not [to] a number I was comfortable with. When I explained to him [that] I think we should start small and [that] we can always upgrade or renovate our home, he said no, that he wouldn’t be happy unless we start at his budget.”

She didn’t feel like her boyfriend valued her contributions to their relationship at all. 

“He then said that he would pay the difference of whatever my 50% budget was,” she wrote. “I just needed to sign something saying I only own said percentage of the house, which would come to about 33%. I keep telling him this is where we will raise our family, and I don’t want to feel like I’m only worth 33%. I thought that we would be going into this as a team, and I can’t help but feel like he just wants a business partner and not a wife. 

“I have always taken care of 100% of all house chores; laundry, cooking, cleaning, etc. Since his proposal, I have suggested that we should now split everything 50/50 to make things fair. I said he should clean after I cook, and that he should do his own laundry now and also help clean when I clean. He does not agree and thinks I am just being petty now because I didn’t get my way with the house.”

Redditors chimed in with their opinions. 

“Don’t marry or have kids with this guy. He’s selfish,” a user wrote

“Get out now. I know it’s hard but worth it in the end,” another said

“He’s using money to hold power over you,” someone commented

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