Woman calls out boyfriend over his ‘thoughtless’ gift-giving tradition: ‘These don’t sound like gifts at all’

A woman doesn’t know how to tell her boyfriend that she doesn’t want his gifts.

She asked Reddit’s “Am I the A******” forum for advice. Every Christmas and birthday, her boyfriend asks her what she wants. And every year, he disregards it to get her a secondhand or homemade version of what she requested that is often unusable or completely different than what she wanted.

“I am currently in a fight about this with my partner,” she said. “We’ve been together for about four years now, and a version of this conversation seems to happen a couple of times a year. […] I don’t need any gifts from him at all, but he always insists on birthdays and Xmas, so I try to be honest and name something I would actually use that’s not too expensive, so it’s easy for him.

“But he always gets me a hand-me-down, thrifted, imitation brand or jerry-rigged version. One year, I pointed out a $75 used bike in a shop. He gave me his old bike. (He’s 6’5”. I’m 5’4”.) Last year, I asked for a hot stone massage at a spa, he gave me some massage oil and a ‘coupon’ for a massage from him. How can I say no to that without sounding ungrateful?”

This year, the conversation didn’t go too different when it came time to get her Christmas gift. 

“So now, just this evening, he asked again. 

Him: What do you want for Xmas?

Me: Well, I have been browsing [for] a new tent for camping this summer — a dome one, so we don’t have to stoop inside as much when we —

Him: Oh, cool! My dad has a tent he doesn’t use anymore!

Me: …Is it a dome tent?

Him: (laughing) No, it’s his old army tent —

Me: (exploding) Why even ask me what I want if it doesn’t matter what I actually want? Sometimes I just want what I want!

Him: Whooooa, you should hear yourself, ‘I want, I want!’ (backs away with his hands up).

I’m sitting in our room alone feeling like a selfish a****** while he Calls of Duties downstairs. He plays that when he’s pissed,” she said

Redditors thought the boyfriend’s behavior was mean-spirited. 

“These don’t sound like gifts at all to me. It sounds thoughtless and inconsiderate for him to give you these hand-me-downs that don’t quite fit your requests,” someone commented

“It seems he doesn’t care about getting you what you want, and he just cares about saving money,” another wrote

“[He’s] just being rude and disrespectful,” a user said

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