New dad taken aback by wife’s ‘creepy’ baby name decision: ‘I’m considering divorce’

A father is stunned his wife secretly changed the name of their daughter

He took to Reddit’s “Am I the A******? (AITA)” forum for help. When his wife became pregnant, they agreed that if it were a girl, he would name it, but if it were a boy, she would name it. She was certain it was a boy. But when she gave birth, the couple had a girl. A year later, the husband discovered that the mom had secretly been using a different name for their daughter. 

“When my wife(31F) and I(29M) were trying to get pregnant, we had a deal that if we have a boy, she would get to choose the full name and if we had a daughter I would,” he wrote. “I was fine with this deal but we both had a veto in case we didn’t like the name the other had chosen. Once we got pregnant, my wife was completely sure that we’re having a boy because ‘a mother knows.’ Her entire family was convinced of it too. During baby shower, everything was blue and all the gifts were demanded to be masculine. Her mother had already started knitting things with the name my wife had chosen.

“Once the baby came, we saw it was a girl and I was ecstatic because, although I wanted both a boy and a girl, I always imagined my first born to be a girl. My wife, though seemingly exhausted, was happy too. When I wrote the name in the birth certificate, I let her know I was using the name I had already run past her. Now, a year later, I come home from work and I find my MIL and wife there talking about my daughter, only they are using another name.When I inquired who they were talking about, they kinda went deer in headlights and blurted that they were talking about daughter. When I asked why they were using another name, my MIL said because that’s what we decided to name her. 

“Then she went on a rant about how it’s unfair that I chose the name and how it’s completely unsuitable for her, etc,” he said. “I was shocked because this was the first time anyone had claimed any objections to the name. So now I realize that the reason my daughter has trouble recognizing her name is because we have been using two different names the entire time. My wife later came to me suggesting we officially get her name changed and I stuck to my guns and told her we are not doing that and she needs to stop. This led to a fight about how unsupportive i am and stole her right to name the child she gave birth to.

“I told her that the opportunity to veto any name is long gone and she can’t expect me to support something this stupid. Here’s the worst part. I could be convinced to change the first name but the one she wants is a very odd feminine version of the name she wanted for her son. Imagine using a female version of the name Drake or Thomas. She got angry and left both my daughter and I and went to her parents. Her entire family except my FIL is calling me controlling and how it’s unfair I chose the entire name and made it all about myself. Honestly, this is so out of left field and creepy that I’m considering divorce.”

Redditor thought the wife’s behavior was bizarre.

“This IS creepy listen to your instincts,” a user wrote

“She’s shown you that you can’t trust her. Open your eyes and don’t be naive,” another said

“This is not normal or healthy for this little girl,” a person commented

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