Woman faces backlash after sharing ‘selfish’ reason for going through her boyfriend’s phone: ‘You betrayed him’

A woman felt like her boyfriend didn’t open up to her enough — so she went through his phone.

She consulted Reddit’s “Am I the A******” forum about her behavior. Her boyfriend has always been reserved. When he left his phone unlocked around her, she seized the opportunity to snoop. She didn’t like what she discovered and confronted him about it. 

“I have been with my boyfriend for around a year,” she wrote. “He has never really talked about his feelings, about things other than our relationship. When he was in the shower, I was sitting on the sofa and realized that he left his phone here, unlocked. I went onto his Notes app and it seemed like he used it as a diary of sorts. He started writing these entries when his ex had broken up with him around two years ago. I knew of the relationship but I didn’t know much of the circumstances surrounding it. It almost felt like he was talking to her through the entries, plenty of questions, talk about his feelings and convincing himself into being okay with letting her go. It seemed that he kept writing in it during our relationship as well. There were entries about his grievances with parents and relatives, and some entries about meeting me and our relationship.”

However, her boyfriend didn’t react to the invasion of privacy the way she had hoped.

“I understand that some people keep notes and things but honestly I felt a little bit betrayed,” she explained. “He has never told me any of these things and it’s like there was a whole different side to him that I just never knew about. I started crying because a lot of the things he wrote, particularly revolving around his ex and his parents, were quite sad. When my boyfriend came out of the shower, he asked me if I was okay and what was going on. I asked him why have you not told me any of this stuff? He asked what I was talking about and I told him that I had read through his notes. His expression instantly shifted into one of anger. I was still in tears at this point and I said that this wouldn’t be a problem if he was just more open with me and talked about it. He got even angrier and asked me to leave.” 

Reddit users thought the girlfriend was in the wrong. 

“You betrayed him,” a user said

“I can not mentally process that she has come here saying she feels betrayed,” another wrote

“You know you are the a******. A big, giant selfish [one],” someone said

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