ICYMI, Succession is ending this weekend. While we literally have no idea how the show is going to end, but we do know that we’re going to miss all of the Succession fashion looks. We also can’t stop thinking about that zinger from Tom in the first episode of this season.
Basically, Cousin Greg (one half of The Disgusting Brothers™) brought a rando date named Bridget to Logan Roy’s birthday party. While she committed a bunch of sins at the party, the biggest one was actually her big, big bag, which she clung to for the entire celebration. Meanwhile, the other half of The Disgusting Brothers™, Tom Wambsgans, delivered an utterly delightful burn of Cousin Greg’s date and her “ludicrously capacious” bag.
“What’s even in there, huh?” asked Tom. “Flat shoes for the subway? Her lunch pail? I mean, Greg, it’s monstrous. It’s gargantuan. You could take it camping. You could slide it across the floor after a bank job.”
And thus launched one thousand and one memes. The offending bag in question is the Burberry Title bag, which clocks in at a definitely-not-cheap price of $2,890.
Burberry Medium Title Vintage Check Two-Handle Bag, $2,890
So, uh, what is a “ludicrously capacious” bag?
As stated above by Tom, a bag is “ludicrously capacious” if it checks off the following boxes:
- Has room for your flat shoes
- Can fit a lunch pail
- Great for camping
- Easy to slide across the floor after a bank job
All jokes aside, we seriously love us some ludicrously capacious bags because we’re human. And being human means we need to have upwards of 87 things on our persons at all times, including six random receipts, a gum wrapper, a missing hair tie from 2019 and, of course, a phone, wallet and keys.
Basically, a good, ludicrously capacious bag is both functional, sturdy and aesthetically pleasing. And because the original Burberry bag is wildly expensive, we found even more extra-large bags that we, the plebians, love.
From work totes to canvas bags and more, scroll down for the best ludicrously capacious bags that you probably shouldn’t bring around in front of Tom.
1. Longchamp Large Le Pliage Tote, $155
There’s nothing more classic than the Longchamp Le Pliage bag. Smooth, sleek nylon and embossed leather trim make this spacious tote a no-brainer for everyday versatility and elegance.
2. Dooney & Burke Patent Leather Tote Bag, $169.97 (Orig. $288)
A patent finish adds shine to a spacious tote bag made from leather for a luxe addition to your everyday ensemble. Plus, the clementine color is so fun for summer.
3. Hibala Woven Large Beach Bag, $23.99 (Orig. $25.99)
Made of 100% jute fiber, this woven tote bag is perfect for summer and looks way more expensive than it actually is.
4. Vince Camuto Orla Canvas Tote, $138
Moody tie dye nods to one of the season’s hottest trends on this lightly-structured canvas tote finished with swingy tassel charms.
5. BAGSMART Tote Bag, $32.99
This ultra-lightweight tote bag comes in a variety of colors. It also features three inside compartments that include a zipper pocket for small items, a middle main compartment and a padded laptop pocket. There are an additional pair of side pockets outside, as well as a yoga mat buckle.
6. Béis Terry Tote Bag, $74.97 (Orig. $128)
A trolley pass-through sleeve lends serious convenience to this chic terry tote bag with handy water-bottle pockets and a key leash.
7. Madewell Large Woven Leather Tote, $186.50 (Orig. $198)
Woven of luxe leather, this tote has the perfect amount of storage to hold all of your daily essentials. With top handles that can easily be worn over your shoulder, it’s the durable carryall you’ll reach for all the time.
8. One DNA Women Are Powerful Canvas Tote, $24.99 (Orig. $44)
Honestly, season-one Shiv would definitely own this bag.
9. Longchamp Le Pliage City Coated Canvas Tote, $225
The classic and timeless Longchamp Le Pliage totes are back in a big way — and this canvas tote is the best way to get the look with a bit of a different edge.
10. Street Level Reversible Faux Leather Tote & Wristlet, $49
She’s sleek, simple, reversible and can actually fit everything without making a major dent in your bank account.
11. Marc Jacobs The Tote Bag, $225
Even though it’s the opposite of the signature Roy stealth wealth aesthetic, the Marc Jacobs Tote Bag is the superior practical designer choice for the rest of us. It’s super durable, comes in a ton of sizes and colors and has already hit icon status.
12. Béis The Large Work Tote, $148
This structured and polished work bag is perfect for toting around your laptop and assorted office supplies — as well as a pair of commuting shoes and dinner leftovers for lunch with or without a lunch pail.
13. AllSaints Allington Straw Tote, $139
Leave it to AllSaints to drop a chic straw tote that’s big enough for all of your summer necessities, from your book to a pair of sunglasses, SPF, etc. etc.
14. L.L.Bean Boat and Tote, Open-Top, $44.95
What bag is more ludicrously capacious than the iconic L.L.Bean Boat and Tote?
15. Kurt Geiger London Brixton Raffia Tote Bag, $74.97 (Orig. $145)
The bright pop of color and playful texture of this Kurt Geiger bag is perfectly on trend for summer.
16. Kate Spade Rosie Large Tote, $175 (Orig. $499)
When it comes to the most capacious of the ludicrously capacious totes, Kate Spade has the best and biggest variety. Every large tote from the joyful brand is a good investment, but we’re obsessed with this denim one.
17. Hill House Home The Market Tote, $95
Perfect for the beach, a picnic or for bringing some much-needed life to your office job, this tote has pockets galore and comes in so many fun prints.
18. lululemon Side-Cinch Shopper Bag, $58
The adjustable side details of this colorful shopper bag let you customize its look and function. Cinch it tightly for added security, or let it out for the extra room.
19. Topshop Jordan Fringe Canvas Tote, $55
Fringe and extra space? This fun and oversized tote is everything we love in a go-to bag — and everything Tom Wambsgans probably hates.
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