How 6 couples celebrate Black love

As Valentine’s Day falls within Black History Month, we asked Black couples to share how they celebrate Black love. Words like “joy,” “power” and “intentional” top the list of their love stories. In a mix of romantic, inspiring and empowering anecdotes, find out how these six couples are honoring their Black love.

Responses have been edited for length.

Lizzy Mathis and Isa Rahman

Lizzy Mathis is an entrepreneur, TV personality, founder of The Cool Mom Co. and a parenting contributor at In The Know by Yahoo. Isa Rahman is a model and the founder of Well Citizen.

We live in Los Angeles, have three kids and have been married for 12 years.

What is your “meet cute” story?

The first time we met was in passing, a quick hello on set working. A week later, I spotted him at an industry event, and he walked right past me. I nudged him and said, “I think I know you from somewhere.” He said “maybe” and kept walking. Not thinking much of it, I continued on with other conversations. Later in the evening, I noticed him eyeing me from across the room. He finally walks over, and we have a 30-minute conversation about life, family, ambitions — all the things. It was a randomly comfortable talk. At the end of the conversation, he said to me, “You’re going to be the woman I marry.” Once again, I didn’t think much of it, but we continued to see each other every day from that day on. Fast forward to our wedding day, four years later, and his mom whispered in my ear: “The night you and Isa met, he called me at 3 in the morning and told me he had just met his wife.”

What does Black love mean to you?

Everything. I’m so thankful for another human who can accept all of me: My flaws, my strengths, my history and my future. Black love comes in many forms, and whomever you love, accepting all of you is a powerful thing.

How do you and your partner celebrate Black love?

By showing love every day. Love comes in the smallest gestures and the biggest moments. Love is supporting each other’s dreams and accepting each other’s faults. Love is being encouraging and being present. We try our hardest to show up for each other in a world that may not always show up for us.

How do you model Black love for your kids?

Family is the foundation. We work very hard at making sure our children know how much we love each other and how much we love them. We spend a lot of time together as a family and don’t shy away from disagreements or problem-solving. We want them to know that love is happy and pure, but it also requires work and dedication.

Where do you draw your Black love inspiration from?

Honestly, we draw inspiration from each other. Every relationship is so different, and you never know what another couple is going through. We know the story we are writing is unique to us. 

What are your plans for Valentine’s Day?

I hope there is good food, a good rom-com and red wine involved!

Terrell and Jarius Joseph

@terrell_jarius

For everyone new who has joined our family, this is US ❤️ Comment if you want an update! #gaycouple #lgbtqhistorymonth #gaytiktok #lgbt #parents

♬ Surrender – Natalie Taylor

We are Terrell and Jarius Joseph. We are two dads who are simply trying to change the narrative on what it means to be Black fathers. Specifically, we are redefining what marriage, parenting and family look like. We live in Atlanta, Georgia, and we are full-time content creators and LGBTQ+ advocates. We met at the age of 18 in 2011 and just celebrated 10 years together at the end of 2021.

What is your “meet cute” story?

We actually met at a haunted house as freshmen in college. We were both in relationships at the time and had no idea that we would be where we are today. Terrell is so afraid of snakes, and during the haunted house, there were some fake ones there, and he lost it! So much so that he ran up and grabbed my jacket in fear. He swears he wasn’t thinking about it when it happened, but I knew it was him flirting. We ended up connecting a few weeks later after both of our relationships ended, and the rest is history. It’s been amazing to watch each other grow up and share so many experiences together.

What does Black love mean to you?

Black love means power and strength! When we think about our culture, our ancestors and our history, we see the fierceness of our people. We see exactly what we overcame and how it sharpened us. And when two Black people come together in love and submit to that love, the possibilities are endless. In that, it is often difficult to feel supported being Black gay men. So we vowed to change the narrative that Black love can only be celebrated between a man and a woman because it’s so much more than that. Our public visibility of our love is what’s needed so that others that may be in similar situations that we were in feel comfortable to live out loud and celebrate their love, no matter how it looks.

How do you and your partner celebrate Black love?

We celebrate our Black love by embracing it in every way, no matter who it makes uncomfortable. We unapologetically share it with the world to show up for the people who need to see that it is possible and attainable. In everything we do, we celebrate our Blackness just as any other characteristic about ourselves. So often, we are just labeled as “gay dads,” and we are constantly correcting it to ensure it reads “Black Gay Dads.” We also do not shy away from conferences, opportunities, etc. that may traditionally only recognize Black love in the way of just a man and a woman. Again, we are all about visibility, and that involves putting ourselves in rooms and situations where we are not always top of mind, but we know being seen will make the difference.

How do you model Black love for your kids?

We model Black love for our children by displaying it openly and transparently. We lean into our Blackness and don’t shy away from it. We show and teach them the power of Black love, but also that it can be safe and vulnerable. We raise our kids to have open minds in every aspect of life. We speak affirmations over them and have them repeat positivity over themselves. We strive to allow them to read books, watch TV shows and play with toys that look like them to show them that anything is possible. Too often, Black families are portrayed as broken, and we want our kids to know that those representations are not what it has to look like. We also allow our kids to see Black love by our peers and family. It takes a village to raise a child, so we always want them to see that representation in more than just their fathers.

Where do you draw your Black love inspiration from?

We draw our Black love inspiration from witnessing the love our parents showed to each other. While everything was not perfect, it gave us a solid foundation to build on when we became adults. As mentioned before, it’s always helpful to surround yourselves with others who also can hold you accountable. Our circle keeps us accountable and reminds us no problem is greater than our marriage and relationship. With that, it’s easier to not only be inspired but to inspire others around us.

What are your plans for Valentine’s Day?

Our plans for Valentine’s Day are currently a secret! We do this every year where we try to surprise each other, and it’s a hit or miss! Either it’s amazing or a disaster because we make these huge plans, and they collide with each other. It’s cute but also stressful because we never know what the other has up their sleeve. If we had to guess (since we are both writing this), it will likely include a romantic dinner and some type of dad getaway. Historically, outside of the gifts and surprises, we use this day to reflect on the past year of ups and downs and how we overcame and got stronger. We truly lean into celebrating our love and appreciation for one another.

Antoinette Dowden and Corey Pryce

Antoinette is an entrepreneur and social media influencer from Brooklyn, New York, who loves fitness. Corey is a fitness influencer and trainer from Queens, New York.

We both moved from New York last year and now live in Tulum, Mexico, doing what we love! We’ve been together going on five years in April!

What is your “meet cute” story?

The way we met was in a very organic and traditional way. Despite what people may think, we didn’t meet on social media or at the gym. We actually met in a club back in NYC. My friend invited me out but wasn’t able to make it. Corey actually came into the club with his friends to celebrate his birthday. When he walked in, I saw those arms and couldn’t take my eyes off of him. Corey instantly caught on, and it was just a staring match between us throughout the night. Something really came over me because I never do this, but I went to the bar, got a pen and paper, wrote my number down, and had a plan to give it to him if the time was ever right. Luckily, towards the end of the party, I went to the bathroom before I left, and who do I see standing on the steps in front of me … my boo! (in my head LOL). Now, the story gets a little strange because we stared at each other for so long (no exaggeration) that Corey must have felt he knew me already because his first words to me were, “Can I get a hug?!” We laugh about this till this day, and we just blame it on the alcohol (cue Jamie Foxx’s song). But my words to him were, “But I don’t even know you.” So he says, “What’s your name?” I say, “Antoinette,” and he says, “OK, Antoinette, my name is Corey. Now we know each other, so now can I get my hug?” We both busted out laughing! Well, he didn’t get his hug, but he did get those digits on that paper. The rest is history!

What does Black love mean to you?

Black love to us means to overcome. The hardships, stereotypes and injustice to our race can often lead to frustration, aggression and being misunderstood. Black love to us shows how much we’ve overcome to love one another. It means surviving in this world every day to create more proud Black love for many generations to come.

How do you celebrate Black love?

We celebrate Black love by being super intentional with showcasing our togetherness — being healthy, sexy, positive, adventurous, caring, funny and powerful together! The world may not know or acknowledge it, but Black people have all of these beautiful and creative traits, and it’s so important for them to be seen.

Where do you draw your Black love inspiration from?

We draw our Black love inspiration from a lot of places, but mainly our parents and family. Antoinette and I are both from very proud Caribbean backgrounds, and our parents have both been married for 30-plus years. The foundation of love and family has always been a pillar in our upbringing, so naturally, we take steps in following what we’ve seen all of our lives. Black entrepreneurs, our friends and other couples are also inspirations and give us hope. We love to see it!

What are your plans for Valentine’s Day?

Our Valentine’s Day plans consist of traveling outside of Tulum for the weekend, pampering ourselves with massages, going to dinner, having lots of champagne and spending quality time with each other.

Nikki (Thompson) Williams and B.A. Williams

My name is Nikki (Thompson) Williams, and I’m the head of multicultural content strategy at Yahoo. My wife’s name is B.A. Williams, and they are a writer and stay-at-home parent. We’ve been together for seven years, and we have one child named Morrison, named after the late great Toni Morrison, and live in New York.

What is your “meet cute” story?

I was in a West Hollywood nightclub celebrating LA Pride when B.A. approached me smiling ear to ear and said, “Wow, you’re beautiful!” I smiled and responded with a giddy “thank you.” They were heading home but wanted to stay connected, so they asked me for my number while handing me their phone. With a smile still stuck on my face, I grabbed their phone and happily typed in my number. B.A. texted me about 15 minutes later to make sure I had their number and to tell me goodnight.

What does Black love mean to you?

Black love encompasses many realities, from joy to honesty to navigating societal challenges. Our shared lived experiences form a special understanding, connection and pride.

How do you and your partner celebrate Black love?

We focus on loving our Blackness and stepping into our power. Self-love is the foundation of our relationship and our love for each other. We affirm each other and acknowledge each other’s excellence. Our home is full of beautiful Black art, powerful Black books and amazing Black music reflecting our Black love.

How do you model Black love for your son?

We love being Black and intentionally express that joy. We dance, meditate, exercise together and tell each other, “I love you, and you are absolutely beautiful” every single day. Showing up fully and authentically is key to modeling Black love.

Where do you draw your Black love inspiration from?

Our son and our future children are an inspiration. We both were raised in single-parent homes, so we didn’t see Black love from our parents. And we’re not into celebrities, so there’s no inspiration coming from there. Maybe our commitment to each other will inspire other Black couples, and we can exchange inspiration with them.

What are your plans for Valentine’s Day?

We’ve already started gift-giving, so Valentine’s Day is a two-week celebration for us this year. The holiday will be full of surprises. We listen to each other throughout the year and show each other how well we’ve listened when celebrating holidays. Valentine’s Day is a joy because taking time to show love feels so good.

Ericka SĂłuter Pitters and Caleb Pitters

Credit: McKay Williamson

Ericka SĂłuter Pitters is a journalist and author. Caleb Pitters is an asset manager.

We met in college at Georgetown University. We continued to date despite moving to different cities after graduation. Eventually, we both ended up in New York and got married in June 2003. We have two sons — Lex, 13, and Aidan, 5. Last June, we celebrated our 18th anniversary.

What is your “meet cute” story?

On Valentine’s Day freshman year, I found a rose with a riddle for me outside my dorm door when I was leaving for class. Then there was a second one waiting on my assigned seat in class. There was another for me at my campus job. When I got back to the room that afternoon, there was another. All with riddles hinting at who it was. I had no idea. Then there was a knock on the door, and there he stood with the last rose. That is how I found out he liked me. (On a side note, I happened to be dating someone else at the time, so we didn’t get together at that point, but I was clearly smitten after this.)

What does Black love mean to you?

I think it means the same things as love means for anyone else: A commitment to each other and each other’s dreams. My husband has always given me unwavering support in everything that I’ve wanted to do. It’s really a blessing. Not everyone has that.

How do you and your partner celebrate Black love?

Caleb is especially good at this. He won’t let a holiday or special event go by without getting me flowers. I used to complain that it was a waste of money. I’m not a huge flower fan. But he told me that he doesn’t just do it for me. He wants our boys to see how you are supposed to honor and celebrate the person who does so much for you. On my end, I am better at celebrating big milestones, like throwing promotion parties or birthday dinners.

How do you model Black love for your kids?

We both believe the most important thing is that they see us working together as partners. We don’t always have to agree, but we need to make decisions together and support each other. It’s an important thing to model.

Where do you draw your Black love inspiration from?

Caleb draws his inspiration from his parents, who have an epic love story. For me, I feel as though I figure it out as I go along. I want us to be happy and fulfilled as a couple.

What are your plans for Valentine’s Day?

We are thinking about having a staycation at a local hotel. Room service, sleeping in, no kids.

Richard and Carlos Seigler-Carter

@therealdadsofnewyork Our Black Love Matters đź–¤ #dadsoftiktok #couples #dance #couplesgoals #fyp #love #lgbt ♬ original sound – therealdadsofnewyork

Richard and Carlos Seigler-Carter live in Orlando, Florida, with their son, Timothy. Richard is a former school superintendent and is now managing director at an operating foundation where he supports superintendents and top education leaders across the country. Carlos is a stay-at-home dad, photographer and fashion designer.

We have been together for 16 years come October and will be celebrating our seventh year of marriage in September.

What is your “meet cute” story?

What started as a chance meeting during a casting call for a photo shoot for Carlos’ clothing line led to dating and then getting married. Almost a year into our marriage, we decided to adopt a child in order to begin building our family. Carlos was able to experience firsthand how the adoption process works because he helped his mother raise his two younger foster brothers, who she later adopted. A short three months later, we learned we had been chosen to parent a precious baby boy, poetically born the day before our first wedding anniversary.

We are committed to challenging the stereotypical portrait of the “American Dream.” We have peeled back the curtains to share the joys, challenges and experiences that come with sustaining a relationship as two Afro-Caribbean men with a non-trivial age gap, as well as raising a bi-racial child in a world where the image of family, even those within our community, is uncommon.

What does Black love mean to you?

Black love means living our authentic lives unapologetically. It means honoring our ancestors through family traditions while working to heal some of our generational traumas with love and dedication as our driving force. Black love means giving each other the space to explore our individual passions while finding ways to incorporate our individuality into our joint identity. 

How do you model Black love for your son?

We are not afraid to be expressive in front of our son. We both grew up in homes where love was displayed openly. From hugs, words of affirmation and a general tendency to be vulnerable, we hope that we are modeling those qualities and virtues for our son on a daily basis. 

Where do you draw your Black love inspiration from?

Our inspiration comes from the healthy lessons we have been taught by family and friends. We are also inspired by some of the mistakes made along the way that give us guardrails with which to avoid. 

What are your plans for Valentine’s Day?

We typically do not make grand plans for this day. We believe that walking in love is a daily endeavor. However, there will definitely be flowers and chocolates.

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