The heated dilemma — which left many online commenters debating who, if anyone, was really to blame — was shared on the Reddit’s AITA (Am I The A******?) forum. In her post, the soon-to-be-bride explained an argument she’d been having with her friend, who is blind and uses a seeing-eye dog.
“AITA for not allowing my friend to bring her service animal (guide dog) to my wedding?” the 28-year-old titled her post.
The woman explained in her post that she was concerned she was the one in the wrong, however, after hearing her explanation, many commenters found themselves blaming the bride’s friend instead.
‘I feel horrible about this’
The Redditor began her post by explaining her so-called “sticky situation,” which centered around a slew of difficult medical issues.
“I have three chronic illnesses … severe asthma and you guessed it, an extremely severe dog allergy.,” the woman wrote. “Usually when I meet with my [blind] friend we meet in the open and I take two allergy pills.”
She noted that these pills, when combined with her other medications, make her extremely drowsy to the point where she never drives after hanging out with her friend, adding that she basically “crashes” as soon as she gets home.
Meanwhile, bride-to-be wrote, her wedding will be extremely “intimate” and not feature much space for her to avoid her friend’s dog.
“I feel horrible about this but I don’t think I can let my friend bring her dog. It just wouldn’t work,” she wrote.
‘She accused me of being ableist’
When the woman finally presented this issue to her friend, it did not go over well. The soon-to-be bride offered to pay for a professional aid to guide her friend that day, and she also suggested that some of their mutual friends could help out — however, those ideas were rejected.
“Unfortunately, she was less than happy with my suggestions,” the Redditor wrote. “She accused me of being ableist and thinking her disability can be switched off for the day.”
The woman attempted to make it clear to her friend — and other Redditors — that she was not trying to discriminate, however she also said she refused to back down and change her own wedding.
“I understand what I asked was a lot and it is a difficult topic. I told her to tell me if she changes her mind and I’d be happy to make arrangements. But I won’t budge,” she wrote.
‘She is being extremely selfish’
Some Redditors were critical of the bride’s response, calling her behavior “selfish” and “inconsiderate,” however many argued that those adjectives could just as easily be applied to the woman’s friend.
“[Your friend] is being extremely selfish. This is your wedding, and you shouldn’t have to spend it being drugged out of your mind just to accommodate one person,” one user wrote.
Several commenters also noted that the friend was also possibly being ableist herself, as she was refusing to acknowledge the bride’s allergies and chronic illnesses as a disability.
“The friend may be frustrated, but she’s being so hypocritical and inconsiderate,” one user wrote. “She, a person with a disability, is really calling [you], a person with a disability, ableist because op wants to enjoy her own wedding day?”
“You can no more switch your disability off for a day than she can, and it’s your wedding,” another added.
Even still, some Redditors made the case that not one person was to blame.
“I think this is just a misunderstanding,” one commenter wrote. “I feel bad for both you and your friend, this is a difficult situation.”
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