The father of a soon-to-be high school grad is sparking a widespread parenting debate after sharing his unhappiness with his daughter’s post-grad wishes.
“She is understandably over the moon,” the father said of his 18-year-old, who was accepted into Harvard.
In his post, the dad went on to explain that, despite his own pride over the teen’s achievement, he believed she should stay closer to her parents and attend a much cheaper — but still “great” — university in the family’s home state.
His reasoning, however, seemed to divide parents and college-aged commenters alike.
‘She was upset that we couldn’t be happy for her’
The Redditor went on to explain that he and his wife had been “pushing” their daughter to attend the in-state school, as she would be closer to her “support system.” Additionally, she would save plenty of money on tuition and fees.
“This [in-state] school is much cheaper and she has a scholarship that would pay all her tuition, excluding fees and textbooks,” the dad wrote.
His daughter, meanwhile, felt that argument was irrelevant, as her parents were not planning to pay for her education.
“My daughter was upset that we couldn’t be happy for her, and says that since we aren’t the ones paying for it we don’t have a say,” the father wrote. “I understand that logic … if she gets sick or injured or she needs to come back home, we’ll be both financially and emotionally paying for it.”
The dad also noted that his younger daughter, who is 12, would be “robbed” of guidance from her older sister if she moved to another state.
“I think it’s a rather selfish decision and told my eldest so, but that just made her even more angry,” he added.
‘Try to be happy for her’
Writing that several other family members had been congratulating his daughter “without even thinking of the implications,” the father asked Reddit users for their opinions. Many were extremely critical, saying it was the dad, not his daughter, who was behaving selfishly.
“I thought you were just upset about the money — but it’s your reasons that really make you [the a******],” one commenter wrote. “She is not responsible for giving up her dreams to help raise her sister. Her sister is not her responsibility — your kid, your job.”
“No offense but sounds like you guys are being selfish and should let her make her own choice,” another added. “Also going to an ivy league school that she’s worked so hard for will pay off getting jobs as well. Just let her be happy and try to be happy for her.”
Others, meanwhile, were more sympathetic, writing that they understood where the dad was coming from while still encouraging him to support his daughter’s choice.
“If this is her dream and it’s doable, let her do it. You CANNOT be dwelling on ‘what if’s’ and thinking she could be injured/sick and need to come home,” one user wrote.
“She got into one of the best schools in the world. That’s an inspiration to her little sister and not depriving her of anything,” another claimed.
If you liked this story, check out In The Know’s article on the student who asked for advice after being called a racial slur during her online class.
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