When her daughter gets “big mad,” this mom has the perfect phrase to de-escalate the tension.
TikToker @destini.ann practices gentle parenting, a child-rearing style that promotes peace and positivity. But that doesn’t mean that keeping the peace is always easy. Kids will be kids, and kids have got big emotions. So whenever her daughter gets angry, @destini.ann has to step in to help the little one process her feelings.
Growing up, the mother was taught her anger was wrong. This only caused her to be labeled a “bad kid” and “problem teen” when she was young and an “angry black woman” as an adult.
“If she’s slamming doors or rolling her eyes and I see it escalating, this is what I’ve been saying,” she said. “I get down on her level and I say, ‘Ken, what is your anger trying to tell you?'”
She tries to teach her daughter that her “anger is a signal” that a boundary has been crossed or a need hasn’t been met. So when you’re angry, it’s better to articulate what you need with your words than to express those feelings with destructive behavior.
“As a therapist, I thank you for sharing this with parents everywhere!” a user wrote.
“Thank you for teaching her that anger is OK! I was taught that anger is never an option and that messes with you,” another said.
“I’m a grown woman and I needed to hear this,” someone added.
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