Group Chat is In The Know’s advice column, where our editors respond to your questions about dating, friendships, family, social media, wellness, shopping, beauty and beyond. Have a question for the chat? Submit it here anonymously and we’ll do our best to reply.
Hey, Group Chat,
I recently started seeing a new person and everything was going great until I found out our astrological signs are not compatible. Should I get out now to avoid heartbreak down the road, or stick around and see where things go?
Sincerely, Star Crossed
Dear Star Crossed,
Kelsey Weekman, who took astronomy in college and mistakenly called it astrology for months so that must count for something, says… As a Gemini, I know that if anyone really cared about sign compatibility, my two personalities would be completely alone. We’re notoriously insufferable! Think of it this way — if you’re dating a sign you’re incompatible with, or they’re one of those dreaded and widely hated signs like a Gemini or a Scorpio, you’re basically doing charity work. Focus on figuring out your tax credit for that, and let the relationship run its natural course.
Most couples have a stock market boyfriend and an astrology girlfriend (gender is not the key factor here — a man could be an astrology girlfriend, and so forth). As long as you’re the astrology girlfriend and your partner knows more about stonks than stars, you can keep any notions about astral incompatibility to yourself and treat it like some sort of cheat code to figuring out what sort of little things they might do to annoy you. A Cancer might cry at inopportune times, and a Leo might demand to be the center of attention, but you’ll know it’s coming!
If you still can’t get it out of your mind, just have them ask their mom what time they were born, sketch out their entire birth chart, and keep going down the list until you find some kind of way in which you *are* compatible.
As a Virgo with a Gemini boyfriend, I understand that it’s kinda weird to meet someone you really like and then Google your compatibility and learn there just isn’t any.
BUT! Before we go jumping to conclusions based on your date’s sun sign, tell me this … have you even looked into the rest of their birth chart yet? Ma’am, the sun sign does NOT make the man! MAKE them ask their mom for their birth time and then get to work, detective. Who knows, maybe their other placements make them a dream match for you.
In the end, it really doesn’t matter if their Saturn is Uranus, or if their Venus is in your house of Serena. Just date someone who makes you happy.
Justin Chan, a proud Scorpio, says… Listen, I’ll be the first to say that I think that horoscopes are a bunch of BS (that’s a capital “B” and “S”). My girlfriend, a Gemini, loves to remind me that I’m a Scorpio and how toxic I can be. But guess what? We’re happily together, and she tells me she loves me all the time (I’m not even kidding).
If things are going great, why ruin them by subscribing to something that doesn’t take into account your or your partner’s unique life experience? Not all Libras act the same, just like not all Scorpios act the same. And, for the record, I think Scorpios are absolutely amazing (this is coming from someone who doesn’t really believe in horoscopes, so take what I say with a grain of salt).
Katie Mather, who struck gold by being born a double Leo, says…
You’re in luck — I love astrology because I love reading about myself.
SO, you and your significant other may not be cosmically destined to be together. I wish you had said which signs you two were so I could give a more in-depth answer, but I’m just going to say off the bat that if your partner is a male Virgo or a Scorpio of any kind, we’re going to send a gentle text right now saying it’s not you, it’s them.
If they aren’t one of those demon signs, the next step is to get this person to text their mom and ask what time they’re born so you can investigate further. Sun signs, rising signs and moon signs all matter! And they will have to text their mom because dads don’t text back fast enough unless you say something like, “The thermostat is broken.”
In the meantime, stick around. Yes, astrology is real science, and yes I haven’t taken a science class since 2012, but technically every relationship either ends in heartbreak or goes on forever. Those are the only two options! You can’t actually predict how this will end (unless they’re a demon sign, in which case it will end with them blocking you on Venmo), so keep calm, carry on and maybe read their daily horoscope just in case.
Morgan Greenwald, who wants everyone to know she is a Virgo, says… Though astrology is important in any healthy relationship, you shouldn’t write someone off just because they’re a Pisces and you’re a Libra.
Of course, if your partner is exhibiting some of the common character traits of their sign and those drive you mad, it might be time to call things off. But If you’re already in a good place with the person you’re seeing, there’s no reason to ruin it now just because of issues that may or may not arise in the future.
The best thing you can do is bring up this issue with your partner. If they’re also concerned with astrology signs, then this is likely something they’ve also considered and will be grateful you brought it up first. If they’re unfamiliar with the language of the stars, then hopefully they will listen to your concerns and reassure you that the relationship is worth pursuing.
TL;DR … Dating is hard enough, and you still want to throw out a whole relationship over their sign? You MUST be a Scorpio.
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