He Ain’t The One

Welcome to the Love Hotline! Drag queens Jujubee and Thorgy Thor are answering your burning questions about navigating the world of dating. Whether it be over video chat or good old-fashioned letters, your two favorite queens have got you covered with their entertaining “expert” advice!

Taylor calls into the Love Hotline looking for some relationship advice—or rather “situationship” advice—and drag queens Thorgy Thor (@thorgythor) and Jujubee (@jujubeeonline) are happy to dish it out! How do you go from casual dating to being in a committed relationship?

Taylor shares that she’s been dating a guy “very casually, for 4 to 5 years” and wonders if there’s any chance that he’ll want to settle down and go from casual dating to boyfriend-girlfriend status. 

“A casual 4 to 5 years!?” Jujubee exclaims. “There’s only one advice to give: That’s not the one.”

But Taylor asks if he’s not the one, “then why do we keep coming back to each other?”

“We keep coming back to each other because that’s all we’re used to,” explains Jujubee. “A lot of people, when they only know how to do one thing, no matter good or bad, they go to the exact same thing. And, my darling, you are so beautiful, you are a light, and you are looking for love. So look for the love that you know you deserve, and you need to know that you deserve all the love.”

Thorgy jumps in to ask Taylor if she wants a marriage, or an official relationship out of this casual dating situation. “Do you want a ring on your finger?” she inquires. 

“No, just officially saying, ‘You are my boyfriend,’ ‘You are my girlfriend,’” responds Taylor. 

“Are you waiting for him to do it? Why don’t you just say it?” asks Thorgy. 

“No, I want him to do it,” Taylors answers self-consciously.

Thorgy comes back with a realistic question. “Do you see him doing that, and would you accept it?”

Taylor hesitates and Thorgy interrupts her with an accurate observation. “It sounds like you know the answer to your own question,” she correctly assumes.

Jujubee jumps in to say, “We aren’t the first queens to tell you any of this. You’ve heard this before from many people. So, baby, you already know the answer. There’s so much out there for you.”

“And you’re a catch, and go out there. You can do whatever you want in this life,” concludes Thorgy. “Have a good time.”

After hanging up with Taylor, the drag queen relationship “experts” have a discussion about what it means when casual dating never approaches the relationship mark. 

“If somebody really wanted to be with you, they would make sure you knew,” says Jujubee. 

“Time to move on,” says Thorgy in agreement. “Find what you want.”
The dating gurus finish off the episode with a game of “Would You Rather,” where they explore whether they’d rather find love tomorrow, or win the lottery next year.

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