When Pamela Reynoso and Dali Sepúlveda met, they had no idea where their relationship would take them — or if parenting would be part of the equation. After all, Dali, who identifies as a lesbian, didn’t know if her path would lead to a family of her own — and Pamela, who identifies as bisexual, didn’t know who her life partner might be.
Now, one toddler daughter later and another baby on the way, this married LGBTQIA+ couple shows that relationships can have surprise plot twists and still be a love story that ends in success — both in parenting and in love.
After the couple met on the popular dating app OkCupid (Pamela messaged Dali, for the record), Dali told Pamela that she had always wanted a family — but she didn’t think she “could ever accomplish that.”
“I’m a very proud bisexual,” Pamela, In The Know’s audience development manager, says. “[Dali] told me straight up that that’s what she wanted. I was like, ‘Uh, yeah, good luck with that.’ I was not expecting to be in a same-sex family. I thought that I would eventually settle down with a man.”
The path to marriage
While that back-and-forth posed another challenge for Dali and her dreams of a family, Pamela started reconsidering what she wanted for her life as her thirties approached.
“It took a lot of tears for me to come to terms with the fact that I love [Dali] and that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her, and I wanted to have a family with her,” Pamela shares.
Once the New York-based Latinx couple decided to get married in 2019, it wasn’t long before their first baby, Eloise, 1, came along. For the couple’s first child, they decided that Dali would carry her, using a donor who would be a known factor in their children’s lives.
‘We wanted to be an open book’
“We used the same donor because we wanted [our kids] to be actually related,” Dali, who was born in Puerto Rico, tells In The Know. “It was important for us, and we wanted to be an open book, like, ‘This is the person who helped your mom and your mom [have] a baby.'”
Pamela, who grew up in the Dominican Republic, agrees, adding that she didn’t want her kids to have nagging questions about the person who helped build their family.
“I was like, ‘I want to make sure that we find someone that I can meet, that I can learn about, get to know,'” Pamela explains. “And I want to make sure that we continue to have a relationship with that person for years to come so that our kids don’t grow up asking questions. I don’t want them to have questions. I want them to know who this person is that helped us form our family.”
‘Two moms are better than one’
While Dali carried their daughter, Ellie, the couple decided that Pamela would carry their second child, who is due to arrive in the fall.
“I thought I always wanted to carry my own baby — until I got pregnant,” Pamela says, laughing.
“I love having a baby and soon two babies with my wife because two moms are better than one,” she adds, “and that really feels that way.”
For Dali, all of this — her loving, growing family — still feels a bit unbelievable.
“I still have to pinch myself sometimes because it’s something I wanted for so long, and I thought I would not be able to accomplish,” she says. “I feel proud of what we’ve built and the family we have, which is beautiful.”
“If you love someone, don’t stop loving them because you’re afraid of what might happen,” Pamela shares. “The impossible [is] actually possible. You just have to be brave and go after what you believe and stick to what you love — or who you love.”
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