Lawyer says ‘biggest takeaway’ from family law is marriage is ‘made up’

A former lawyer believes that “marriage is just made up” based on her experience with family law. 

Cece Xie is a Harvard Law School graduate who ditched her legal career in 2022 to become a writer. But that doesn’t mean her TikTok isn’t full of interesting discussions about the U.S. justice system. Xie responded to an inquiry from a follower who wanted to pick her brain about the institution of marriage

@cecexie

Replying to @stephaniegodoyart this was actually my takeaway from law school more generally, too

♬ original sound – cece

Xie shared her “biggest takeaway” was that marriage was just an illusion. While it has a history with religion, politics and economics, those reasons have little bearing for most people these days. 

“Putting that aside in the modern era, why get married?” Xie said. “Especially if you don’t have some like religious attachment to the institution of marriage.”

She explained that the government wants people to get married to create “private social welfare networks.” This forces your family to be responsible for you instead of the government. But when you put that cynicism aside, it creates the opportunity to define marriage however you want. 

“You and your partner can make it into whatever it means,” Xie said

She and her husband Nathanial realized that marriage to them meant something entirely different than it did to the other people in their lives. But they talked about it and defined what marriage meant to them. 

“What kind of commitment we were making to each other and that was actually a really a beautiful process,” she explained

People share their thoughts on marriage in the comments. 

“That’s basically what my Mom told me as I was about to be married,” a TikToker replied

“So good! My significant other and I refer to each other as husband/wife even tho we didn’t get married. We’re like, it’s all make believe anyway,” a user wrote

“My husband and I got married merely for the formalities,” another commented

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