Massachusetts resident sparks chaos with ‘sad excuse for pizza’

Have you ever heard of “beach pizza“?

Evidently, this is a special type of square pizza found on the coasts of northern New England. As Eater explains, it “has a barely perceptible crust, an even less prominent dusting of cheese, and an overly sweet sauce that owes its flavor profile to Prego.” It’s not appetizing in the traditional sense, but apparently if you grew up in Massachusetts or New Hampshire, the nostalgia overpowers the wave of nausea that looking at the square pizza induces.

Having grown up less than an hour outside of New York City, I am blissfully unfamiliar with beach pizza. Naturally, then, after coming across a video of the savory square snack on TikTok uploaded by whatupcraeg, I rushed to the comments to find out whether or not I was alone in my ignorance.

Based on the comments, I wasn’t the only one who had never heard of beach pizza, and I certainly wasn’t the only one who had no desire to try the Ellio’s ripoff.

“That is the saddest ‘pizza’ I’ve ever seen,” one person remarked.

“School lunch pizza looks better [than] that,” another user added.

“That’s offensive pizza,” a third user commented.

Those who were well-acquainted with beach pizza, meanwhile, noted that its appeal simply cannot be explained.

“To everyone saying it looks sad/awful … obviously you’ve never had Tripoli’s after a long day at the beach,” one person said.

“I can’t explain how good NH beach pizza is,” another person added.

“All you guys not from ma/nh, it does look like it’s bad. but it is wayyy better then regular pizza trust,” a third person commented.

The next time you venture out to Massachusetts or New Hampshire, make sure to snag yourself a slice of this pizza, if you can even call it that.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this Reddit user’s Fruity Pebbles pizza that somehow looks appetizing.

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