Mom gets real about setting boundaries with her own mother: ‘Children don’t owe their parents a certain kind of relationship’

Setting boundaries with parents can be tricky for adult children, and this mom has a message for people judging her for setting boundaries with her own mother

Parent, and daughter, Lisa P (@itsme_lisap), took to TikTok to address the shame surrounding parental boundaries.

“I’m about to piss some people off,” she begins in the clip, which has 5 million views and counting.

She prefaces, “I got a lot of comments on my video about setting boundaries with my mom from older women who reiterated the message, ‘You should be grateful for everything your mother’s done for you.’” 

“But here’s what’s going to piss people off,” she continues. “Children don’t owe their parents a certain kind of relationship.”

While noting that the dynamic between an adult parent and a child who’s still a child is different, Lisa P says that “once that kid is an adult, that person is a fully formed human being. And all that sh** they did for you is parenting, which is what you signed up for.” 

She maintains that providing for a child’s physical, financial and emotional needs is what good parents should do without the expectation “that they will blindly obey and do whatever you say as adults.”

Lisa P ends the video by saying that children are people, at the end of the day, “and they don’t owe you sh** because you took care of them.”

Some viewers agreed with Lisa P’s stance on boundaries. 

“Some parents have children and view them as an extension of themselves instead of as an individual person with thoughts and feelings. It’s sad, really,” one user commented. 

Other viewers weren’t quite so sure. 

“Oooo, I have a what if… what if that child is still living with the parent and the parent financially provides?” one user inquired. 

The bond between parent and child is unique, complicated, and constantly changing over time. Parent-child dynamics vary from family to family, and there’s ultimately no rulebook.

In The Know is now available on Apple News — follow us here!

If you enjoyed this story, check out this mom who magically calms her 2-year-old’s tantrum in a healthy, loving way!

More from In The Know:

Mom is horrified when Starbucks barista informs her half her face is unblended: ‘I have been out of the house for 4 hours’

The ‘best iron I’ve ever owned’: Amazon shoppers love this 2-in-1 hair straightener and curler

These inexpensive, silky-soft pillowcases on Amazon are good for your hair and your skin

Mom gets alarming call from daughter’s school: ‘She’s leaving with a strange man every day’

Listen to the latest episode of our pop culture podcast, We Should Talk: