Name a doomed cockroach after your ex — for just $5

Has your burning love for someone special recently turned into a burning hatred?

If so, you’re in luck, as you can now pay $5 to have a cockroach named after your ex, which will then be fed to animals at the San Antonio Zoo.

During its first-ever “Cry Me a Cockroach” event, which will be live-streamed on Facebook this V-Day, the zoo is giving scorned lovers the opportunity to have revenge in a way that helps its animals.

If you’re feeling particularly wronged this year, forgo the $5 roach option and pay the zoo $25 to feed a (frozen, not fresh) rodent bearing your former flame’s name to a ravenous reptile.

If you want in, you better scurry over to the zoo’s website, as the promotion closes on Feb. 14 at 6 p.m., and only names submitted by that time will be read aloud during the feeding. (Don’t worry — submitters remain anonymous, and only first names will be displayed at the event.)

Give the Mikes and Dans of the world what they truly deserve — symbolic death at the jaws of a hungry zoo dweller.

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