Destini Ann (@destini.ann) is a TikToker who describes herself as a “single mom,” “peaceful parent,” and practitioner of “positive discipline.” She also loves the word “and” so much that it inspired her to write a song!
It’s a philosophy that promotes encouragement and problem-solving over punishment. Destini’s “and” song is a stellar example of this parenting technique.
In the video, Destini sings that using the word “and” helps her strike the right balance between discipline and love when communicating with her children.
“When you’re too hard,” she sings, “They learn how to people-please.”
But, she explains, being too passive isn’t ideal either because it prevents kids from learning responsibility.
The solution? The word “and,” of course!
Destini gives a few examples of how to effectively use the word “and” with kids:
“I hear you and you still gotta clean the house,” she sings.
“I love you and you still need to watch your mouth,” she continues.
Finally, and most importantly, she sings, “Yes, I’m your mom and I’m also your best friend.”
The word “and” allows her to show her kids she loves them, while also gently disciplining them.
Viewers loved Destini’s parenting tips and its catchy delivery.
“You have sculpted yourself into the most incredible parent and I’m obsessed. You can tell you put hard work into this and it’s beautiful,” one TikToker wrote.
“I love this. ‘You need to be the parent, not the friend’ is so not my style and I feel like people judge me. I honestly enjoy my son’s friendship,” wrote another.
One mental health professional even reached out on TikTok to express their appreciation. “I’m a therapist, and I use this all the time,” they commented. “It’s called dialectics, it helps kids to realize that 2 different things can be true at the same time.”
“And” may be a tiny word, but when it comes to parenting, it can have a big impact!
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