Jessica Kent is a prisoner’s rights activist and former inmate who talks about her time in prison on YouTube.
While Kent’s content usually is about her experience in the system or her ongoing recovery from substance use, she also makes lighthearted educational content. In February 2020, she gave her followers one of her favorite recipes for “prison pizza.”
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All of the items Kent used to make the pizza are ones you can get through the commissary or at the prison’s store. She does have one important piece of advice, however: Don’t trust anyone who puts ramen noodles in their prison pizza.
And while in prison inmates are only given sporks, she opted to use a real knife instead of spending two hours chopping ingredients with her I.D. card.
Kent took crushed saltine crackers, placed them in a bag of crushed Funions and added water to make the crust. She mixed the ingredients using her hands, flattened the bag out and cut it open. The result was a thin slab of square dough. Next she slathered it with pizza sauce and canned cheese sauce (she noted that in prison it would be powdered Velveeta). Then she topped it with pepperoni, pickles and jalapeños.
There is no cooking involved in the creation of prison pizza, so Kent dug right into the concoction.
“So we would cut it up and share it amongst everyone,” Kent explained as she went in for a bite. “You know, it’s not disgusting. It’s not great, but it’s not disgusting.”
“I don’t know how I ended up on this, but it’s fascinating,” someone commented.
“I don’t even know how to make pizza at my house,” another said.
“It’s prison good,” Kent added.
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