One woman captured the moment a random man berated her friend at a bar after she told him she has a boyfriend.
“When some random guy yells at us because your friend told him she has a boyfriend,” TikTok user Olivia (@oliviadicampli) claims.
The man in question is seen aggressively speaking to her friend while Olivia records the incident.
“I don’t give a s*** who you guys are,” the man is heard saying. “You… you think you’re better than me because you’re f****** cute? You think you’re better than me because you’re cute.”
“I think you need to walk away,” Olivia’s friend responds.
“‘Just say no’ ‘say you have a boyfriend’- *ends up with this reaction 8/10”
Olivia’s video, which has over 1.3 million views and 190,700 views, has gained traction on TikTok. Fellow users have taken to the comments to share their reactions to the situation — and how commonly interactions like this occur.
“Some people don’t understand how often this happens and how scary it can get,” @mp1818 wrote.
“I had a bottle thrown at me because I said I was married,” @abbyramosstanutz said.
“Why am I not shocked at all?!” @rainbow_starz11 asked.
“‘Just say no’ ‘say you have a boyfriend’- *ends up with this reaction 8/10,” @dezamine replied.
Not an uncommon experience
Alecia Lynn Eberhardt published a piece in 2013 entitled “Stop Saying ‘I Have A Boyfriend’ To Deflect Unwanted Attention,” in which she essentially challenges the idea that women are required to make up an excuse to avoid unwanted male attention.
“Male privilege is ‘I have a boyfriend’ being the only thing that can actually stop someone from hitting on you because they respect another male-bodied person more than they respect your rejection/lack of interest,” Eberhardt wrote via The Sydney Morning Herald.
In 2014, NPR covered a study conducted by the University of Toronto found that sexual aggression from men toward women wasn’t necessarily due to their level of intoxication. Instead, men reportedly prey “on women who have had too much to drink.“
Lauren Taylor, co-founder and director of the Safe Bars initiative in Washington, D.C., shed light on the incentive of her group — mainly how bystanders can “safely intervene” and help mitigate these aggressive interactions.
“For example, you might go up to somebody who is being targeted and say, ‘Your friend is calling over there.’ A bystander could also address perpetrators directly and ask them to cut it out,” Taylor told NPR.
Whether or not Olivia’s friend was truthful in stating she had a boyfriend, the treatment a random man at the bar subjected to her is anything but tolerable. In harassing her the way he did, this man’s attempt to reestablish dominance and control of the situation reinforced the already-persisting fear that many women have in the presence of men.
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