Woman frustrated because her boyfriend doesn’t like when she wears ‘revealing’ clothes: ‘It feels controlling sometimes’

A woman is frustrated with her boyfriend, who criticizes her when she wears clothes that he thinks are “too revealing.”

The girlfriend posted on Reddit’sRelationship Advice” forum asking for feedback on how to move forward with the situation. 

She begins the post by explaining that her boyfriend told her he doesn’t like it when she wears certain clothes

“I usually don’t wear bras, and when I wear something tight, you can kind of see the shape of my nipples through the shirt. I would sometimes wear this when going out or to the beach,” the post’s author describes. 

While the woman says that her boyfriend’s disapproval was “more subtle” when they first started dating, his criticisms have recently become more frequent and direct. She mentions that whenever she wears something he deems inappropriate, he guilts her, saying he wouldn’t feel “good for the rest of the day” if she wore that out with him. 

“He says this is because he doesn’t want other people [looking] at me that way or [seeing] my nipples. Most of the time, I don’t want to make a big deal out of it, and I’ll just put on something else. But it feels controlling sometimes, and I just want to be able to wear what I want,” the Redditor conveys, dejected.

Before noting that her boyfriend is “really sweet most of the time,” the author finishes off her post, seeking input on what to do about her boyfriend’s behavior on this matter.

“It’s an incompatibility issue.”

The response from Reddit users was mixed. Many users felt the boyfriend’s behavior was controlling and that he had no business telling the post’s author what to wear

“They’re your boobs. He can go ahead and be uncomfortable. If you’re okay with it, then that’s all you need,” stated one Redditor. 

“This issue happens way too many times. If he already knew you and [how you dressed] before dating, then he shouldn’t expect you to change it. You’re free to dress however you want,” another reader agreed. 

Others felt that the matter was more complicated. 

“He can express his concerns, and you can agree and compromise with it. If you don’t, then he can choose [whether or not] to be with you. Or if he stays with you but keeps bringing this up, and you get tired of it, then you can choose [whether or not] to be with him. This kind of thing that you used to skip over because you thought it wasn’t enough to break the relationship might end up being the thing that breaks the relationship,” conveyed one Reddit user. 

“This isn’t a boundary issue, it’s an incompatibility issue. He needs to be with someone who dresses more conservatively, and you need to be [with] someone who’s comfortable with [how] you dress,” another person concluded.

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