Bride-to-be furious over stepmom’s ‘selfish’ wedding date conflict: ‘Guests don’t dictate the wedding day’

A woman isn’t sure how to accommodate her stepmother’s wedding request.

She asked Reddit’s “Wedding” forum to weigh in. The bride never got along with her stepmother. When the stepmother asked her not to schedule her wedding on four different weekends, the bride didn’t know how to react. 

“Background: Parents divorced when I was 11,” the bride explained. “We lived with my dad because real mom had a drinking problem. Dad eventually remarried a woman me and my 3 brothers dislike when I was 22. Extended family hates her. She has no involvement in my life. My real mother is now deceased.”

“We are in the early stages of planning our wedding. Between me and my fiance, there are 18 immediate family members (s/os included). We asked all of them if there are any black out dates in 2023 for the wedding. Such as, his autistic nephew graduates HS next year and is going to college so Graduation + first day of school weekend are black out dates.”

But when she got a response from her stepmother, it wasn’t helpful at all.

“I included my dad’s wife in the email, because she was recently just complaining about being left off of family email chains and not feeling included,” the bride wrote. “She proceeds to respond and tells us to black out 3 weekends in September for a potential birthday trip for herself, and her and my dad’s anniversary (this is her 3rd marriage, btw). Four total weekends in 2023.”

“How would you respond? On one hand, I could do nothing. Don’t sweat the small stuff and never include her again. But this leads her to believe I am accommodating her. On another hand, I could send her a straightforward email saying if we blacked out 4 weekends for all 18 immediate family members due to trips and anniversaries, we would literally be out of wedding dates, so we will not do that.”

People didn’t think the bride owed her stepmother anything.

“I’d probably ignore the gross selfishness, reply and then forget about her,” a person advised

“She can decide to attend or stay home. Guests don’t dictate the wedding day,” another wrote

“You do not need to accommodate everyone’s schedules,” a user said

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