‘My fiancée said she loves her ex more than anyone else’

A man’s fiancée admitted she loves her deceased ex-boyfriend more than anyone else — including him!

The man took to Reddit’s “Relationship Advice” forum, where he explained that he felt hurt when his fiancée told him her feelings, and asked for advice on how to proceed. 

The Reddit poster explained that, before he began dating his fiancée, she was in an abusive relationship with another man on and off for five years. The ex-boyfriend has since passed away, but the fiancée still has feelings for him. 

“He was very abusive, [doing] drugs, etc., and now he’s dead,” the man explained. “They were already broken up before he died. She got out finally and moved away and 6 months or so later he died due to drugs and health issues.”

After the fiancée’s ex-boyfriend died, the man began dating her. Now, the two are in a loving relationship and are even engaged. “She is very excited and happy about getting married,” the man wrote. 

However, throughout their relationship, the fiancée would often talk about how much she still loves her ex-boyfriend. For the most part, the man wasn’t concerned about his fiancée still having feelings for her ex. However, things changed when the fiancée told the man that she loves her ex-boyfriend “more than she does any other person.”

“She tells me I shouldn’t care how she feels about him or anything involving him [because] he’s dead,” the man wrote. “I told her I disagree. Dead or not, if her heart still wants or belongs to him then that’s what matters.”

The man worries that his fiancée doesn’t love him as much as she claims to. He is also concerned that he won’t live up to her memory of her dead ex-boyfriend. “It just feels like I’ll always be compared to him and never [be] good enough,” the man explained. “Even though she claims even if he was still alive she would rather be with me than him because of how bad their relationship was.”

Couples counseling

Redditors sympathized with the man, and many suggested that he and his fiancée attend relationship counseling. 

“Suspend wedding plans until you two have had a little counseling,” one Redditor suggested.

“I wouldn’t want to be in your position either, because you are never going to be able to live up to the fantasy she has of this guy in her head. If [your] GF isn’t willing to get help I’d be thinking about moving on,” another Redditor wrote. 

“It does sort of feel like you are second best. Postpone the marriage, get some couples counseling,” suggested another Redditor. 

Overall, Reddit was in agreement that a little therapy could go a long way in the man’s relationship.

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