Woman’s mother-in-law keeps crashing family vacations: ‘MIL needs to back off!’

An annoyed daughter-in-law took to Reddit to vent her frustrations and seek advice on handling her mother-in-law, who has a habit of crashing their vacations.

The woman asked Reddit’s “r/inlaws” forum to weigh in on the issue.

For context, the author references another post she wrote in the same forum describing her “typical over-bearing” MIL’s penchant for always finding a way to infringe on vacations with her side of the family. 

“We try to balance each side of the family’s [vacation] evenly, but my MIL over the years has had more [vacation] time with my kids than my dad. And she is usually in the same beach town as us when we come with my dad because her brother owns a house [there]. It really annoys my dad,” the author shared. 

To prevent a repeat situation, the woman told her MIL and husband ahead of time that her father wanted some quality family time alone with her kids during this year’s vacation since he hasn’t vacationed with them in more than five years. 

“My MIL actually seemed to understand. She said [that] she gets that this is quality time with my dad, so I felt like things were [ok],” the Redditor mentioned. 

However, since the Redditor’s father ended up having solo plans for the final three nights of the trip, her MIL kept “dropping hints” about joining them for the remainder of the vacation.

“I think now she feels she’s not infringing on my dad’s time because he’s got his own plans,” the post’s author surmised. 

“Regardless, it still feels wrong and [as though] she’s getting this time with us and the kids on my dad’s [vacation], even though he won’t be with us. And we have a week of quality time with her in August. I’d [like to] enjoy these next few nights, just the 4 of us without my MIL. But now I feel like a b**** telling her she can’t join us. But I’m so pissed she’s here in the [first] place,” the author expressed, feeling torn. 

Time for boundaries

Reddit users agreed that the author needs to establish boundaries with her MIL.

“Ugh! MIL needs to back off!! Even if you are not with your dad, you, [your] hubby, and the kids can have private time! Find things to do so you are not free,” suggested one Redditor.

“‘Sorry MIL, we’ve made plans with the kids for these nights, so [we] won’t be seeing you.’ You don’t have to see her. You don’t need to include her. This is your vacation,” one user echoed. 

In response to the feedback, the author provided an update. She wrote that her MIL’s behavior only grew more imposing during the last three days, so a discussion is in order. She also acknowledged that while her people-pleasing nature makes it challenging for her to stand her ground, it’s only holding her back at the end of the day.

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