Every parent needs a bit of alone time sometimes! But finding time for yourself can be difficult, especially if you’re a single parent. Fortunately, TikToker and mom Destini Ann (@destini.ann) has some simple advice for any parent who is struggling with getting a few minutes alone. In a recent video, Destini shared how she is training her 4-year-old daughter to comfortably spend time on her own.
The video begins with a shot of Destini holding her 4-year-old daughter in her arms. “I need space from my kid sometimes, but I’m a single mom, so that’s really difficult,” Destini explains. “I like to give my 4-year-old opportunities to respect my space when I don’t actually need it.”
Destini cradles her 4-year-old in her arms as she explains, “I don’t wait til I’m tired, angry, [or] overstimulated, to practice this with her.”
Destini begins by telling her daughter to make a “bubble” with her mouth. The 4-year-old takes a deep breath and sucks air into her mouth. While the 4-year-old is making the “bubble,” Destini explains what she plans to do. “I need 5 minutes by myself,” she tells the 4-year-old. “What would you like to do while I take my 5 minutes?”
The 4-year-old immediately begins answering her mom, listing all of the things she wants to do by herself while her mom spends some alone time. “I’m going to speed this part up because she had a long list of things that she wanted to do, which is great for me because I ended up getting more than 5 minutes.”
Next, Destini takes her 4-year-old by the hands and spins her around in circles. The 4-year-old giggles delightedly while her mom spins her. Then, Destini puts her daughter down and tells her daughter she will return in 5 minutes. “She’s getting good at this for one reason, and trust me it is not because she is an ‘easy’ 4-year-old,” she explains. “She’s getting good at this because we practiced this together.”
“We practice giving mommy a minute as often as we can when I don’t actually need it, so that way, when I do need it, she understands and feels safe enough to do it,” says Destini.
The video ends with a shot of Destini’s daughter sitting quietly by herself in her room. The 4-year-old seems perfectly content to spend a few minutes on her own and give her mom a bit of space. “She’s over there minding her own business,” Destini explains. “I don’t even have to close the door.”
TikToker’s applauded Destini’s video and her relationship with her 4-year-old.
“So simple but so life-changing!” wrote another TikToker.
“This is so smart. Will start practicing with my little ones,” commented another parent.
Sometimes, getting a little time for yourself as a parent is as simple as practicing good communication with your child!
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