Speech therapist is going viral for teaching little ones how to say no

Hailey Van Asch, a speech-language pathologist and owner of Van Asch Speech Therapy, is helping children find their voices by teaching them how to protest — and TikTok is applauding her mission.

In The Know by Yahoo spoke to Hailey to learn more about the power of saying no, and why she feels it’s important for children to express their dislikes and disinterests.

In Hailey’s video, which quickly gained nearly 300,000 views and 43,000 likes, she demonstrates how she teaches her students to protest with phrases like “I don’t like it” or “I don’t want it.”

“Imagine only being able to say you DO want/like/see something,” she writes in the video. “Being able to protest gives our children SO 👏🏻 MUCH 👏🏻 POWER 👏🏻”

According to Hailey, she first noticed the emphasis on requesting or commenting phrases — such as “I want,” “I see” or “I need” — when she was completing her graduate studies and clinical work at Radford University.

“These are great phrases that can be used appropriately in a variety of settings and can help children to request and comment in order to express their needs/ideas,” she told In The Know. “While these phrases are powerful, phrases that help children protest or indicate disinterest/dislikes are arguably more important; however, these phrases were emphasized much less during my time as a student.” 

In addition to protest phrases like “I don’t like it” or “I don’t want it,” Hailey targets statements like “I need a break” and “All done.”

“I like to incorporate these protests into therapy because they are so motivating for little ones. Think about being a kid and being able to tell an adult ‘I don’t want it,’ or ‘no/no way,'” said Hailey. “The focus on speech and language therapy is to increase functional communication, not only to teach children phrases others want them to say based on a desire for a ‘polite’ or ‘compliant’ child.” 

Teaching children how to express their dislikes or disinterests not only empowers them, but it also helps parents avoid meltdowns and misunderstandings.

“Maybe the toddler requests a snack — ‘I want snack/food’ — and their parents give them a snack,” Hailey explained. “After tasting the food they were given, the toddler decides they don’t really like that snack, but they don’t know how to tell their parents. The toddler would most likely use nonverbal communication to try to express their dislike for the food (e.g., pushing food away, throwing food, crying). Behaviors like these are often perceived as ‘bad,’ and the toddler’s parents may react with punishment or disappointment. Typically this will lead to a full-blown tantrum.”

However, if the toddler had been taught how to protest, that meltdown and subsequent punishment could have been avoided. “Once they tasted the food and didn’t like it, they would simply say, ‘I don’t like/want it’ or ‘no,’ and their parents would get them something else. Using that one word — ‘don’t’ or ‘no’ — changed the entire trajectory and outcome of that situation,” explained Hailey.

Another way Hailey teaches children how to protest is by creating what’s called sabotaging environments. “We may give a child a blue crayon knowing they want the green crayon and see what they do,” Hailey explained. “If they begin to cry or show frustration, we would typically model something like ‘I don’t want it’ and put it away before handing the desired crayon to the child.”

‘Thank you for helping littles find their voices…’

TikTokers around the world expressed gratitude to Hailey for teaching children how to self-advocate through the power of language.

“I don’t know why but this just made me emotional. ❤️ Thank you for helping littles find their voices!” one comment read.

“I love this. Such important language for littles!” another used commented.

“Yes, I try to emphasize this to my families all the time. There is power in saying NO,” a fellow SLP (speech-language pathologist) wrote.

“Let em KNOW baby!” applauded another user.

But Hailey’s work is impacting more than just the TikTok community. From her practice located in Richmond, Va., Hailey provides private and specialized speech-language therapy services to children with speech sound disorders, including articulation disorders, phonological disorders and childhood apraxia of speech.

Thanks to the hard work and unique vision of teachers like Hailey, and practices like Van Asch Speech Therapy, future generations are being given a voice that they’ll no doubt use to make our world a better place.

In The Know is now available on Apple News — follow us here!

More from In The Know:

Listen to the latest episode of our pop culture podcast, We Should Talk: