Not to be a total manic pixie dream girl, but I’m not like other girls. I’m not a coffee snob and I don’t pick teams when it comes to milk. (Unless it’s skim milk, in which case, why even put milk in your coffee?)
So when Starbucks announced the arrival of two new limited edition coffee drinks, I was shaking — mostly because I’d already had my morning coffee.
The debut of the Honey Almondmilk Cold Brew and the Pistachio Latte satisfies both ends of the Starbucks spectrum.
The cold brew was designed for coffee lovers who like a simple order and drink cold brew year-round (a product that, according to Starbucks, contributed more than $1 billion in sales in the past three years.) The cold brew is also targeting under-30, Gen Z drinkers, who are reportedly two times more likely to buy cold coffee.
Plus, people were thrilled that the drink is already dairy-free since it’s made with almond milk.
On the other hand, Twitter users were frustrated that this progress only applied to the cold brew drink, because the Pistachio Latte is not dairy-free.
The latte is described as having a pistachio flavor and a salted brown butter topping, complete with an espresso shot and steamed milk.
As I said, I’m not like other under-30-year-olds, because I don’t like cold brew. But the promise of honey and almond milk made me think that perhaps I could change. And I love pistachio, so the latte seemed like a perfect afternoon pick-me-up that would spike my energy and satisfy my post-lunch sweet craving.
Fate was on my side because I happened to have a bunch of Starbucks gift cards from the holidays, so I ordered both drinks.
I tried the Honey Almondmilk Cold Brew first because I was more excited about the Pistachio Latte and didn’t want it to taint my cold brew experience if it was really good.
But I hated it. Maybe a cold brew lover would appreciate the flavoring, but I was unamused. I shook it up some more, praying that I just hadn’t mixed it enough, but the aftertaste was hard to get used to. It turned into me anticipating the aftertaste discomfort instead of actually enjoying the drink.
I hoped the Pistachio Latte would cleanse my palate and taste like a scoop of smooth pistachio ice cream with an espresso shot. But my first sip was plagued by the too-sugary topping and I kept trying to get to the pistachio part — but it never came. If I had to do this as a blind taste test, I would’ve guessed it was a crème brûlée-flavored latte instead.
If you liked this story, check out our review of Dunkin’s ghost pepper donut.
More from In The Know: