Supportive dad seeks advice after finding out son and his “friend” are a couple

A 40-something British father took to social media seeking advice on how to best support his 20-year-old son after coming to the realization that he and his male “friend” were actually in a relationship.

The concerned parent, who described his son as his “pride and joy,” explained on Reddit that he “regrettably” wasn’t involved in his son’s life when he was a baby, but that he gained full custody when his son turned 12 due to tragic circumstances.

“His mother and I parted ways when he was just a few months old and at the time I was struggling with a heroin addiction and was absolutely not as present in his life as I should have been,” the man wrote in a now-viral post. “When he was 12 he revealed to me that he was being badly mistreated at the hands of his mother and her boyfriend. I didn’t want my boy suffering anymore so I got myself cleaned up and sorted out in order to get full custody of him.”

“Everything a man could want his son to be.”

Six years later, the man said his son was accepted to a “top-ranking university” on the other side of the U.K., and though he was sad to see his offspring leave home, he was overjoyed to send him off to a “new chapter in his life.”

“He’s everything a man could want his son to be; he’s uniquely kind and fiercely loyal, he’s unflinchingly brave, he’s incredibly generous and, despite the horrors he suffered as a child, he’s unfailingly positive and sunny to the last,” the father said, calling his son “the greatest man I have ever known.”

The Redditor said he watched his outgoing son make a plethora of new friends during his first year at school — including one particularly close friend that he moved into an off-campus apartment with during his second year of classes.

“The most solid evidence…”

Although he said he suspected his son to be gay “since his early teens,” he confirmed his belief when his son and his roommate both moved back to his home amid the coronavirus pandemic, which saw universities across the world shuttered in an effort to stop the spread of the disease.

“His ‘friend’ would be left alone if my son came back as he’s a Canadian and his family are back over there,” the dad explained. “He asked if it would be okay if ‘friend’ tagged along to my house and I said of course, no problem.”

Since the pair has been living back at home, the father said he had caught them “doing coupley things on several occasions,” including calling each other “babe” and slyly putting their arms around each other in dark rooms.

“The most solid evidence, however, came a few mornings ago,” he wrote. “I don’t know what possessed me to do so, but on Tuesday morning I cracked my son’s door open to check on him like I used to when he was a kid. Lo and behold, they’re both asleep, snuggled up together, in my son’s bed. That’s more or less solidified for me that they’re together.”

“You don’t ever need to hide anything.”

After seeking the Reddit community’s help on how to let his son know he was “okay with them being a couple” and that they did not “have to feel like they have to sneak around,” the father shared a heartwarming update to his saga.

One evening, while the friend was taking a bath, the father decided to gently confront his son on the matter.

“I (told) him face to face ‘Son, I love you very much,'” he wrote in a follow up post. “You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to, but I want you and [friend] to feel comfortable being yourselves in my house and you don’t ever need to hide anything from me, alright?”

“Well, it turns out a hell of a lot of you were right,” he continued. “Son burst out laughing and said, ‘oh thank God, I reckoned you’d clicked on but didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to make you feel weird.'”

“I’m not as brilliant and intuitive as I thought…”

Apparently, the son and his friend had been dating since the first year of college, which is why they chose to move in together during their second year. But to the father’s surprise, this was not his son’s first boyfriend.

“I’m not as brilliant and intuitive as I thought because apparently one of his friends in secondary school was his boyfriend for a year and I had absolutely no idea,” he wrote.

After the father sat down with his son and new boyfriend together, he learned the sad reason they wanted to take shelter at his home together.

“Sadly a lot of you were right that the reason boyfriend doesn’t have a good relationship with his parents is because he came out to them a few years ago and they effectively disowned him,” he shared. “So I made sure he knows that he’s a part of our family now.”

“I’m glad this is something my boy no longer feels he has to keep from me and I’m very glad he’s happy with his partner,” he added.

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