Wife’s shopping list for ‘incompetent’ husband ignites debate on TikTok

A woman’s grocery list for her husband has sparked a serious debate on TikTok

Husband and wife Adam and Melinda share funny videos about their marriage on their joint TikTok account, @adamxmelinda. When Melinda posted a clip about the unconventional shopping list she made for her husband, it caused quite a stir. While some didn’t take it too seriously, others felt she was coddling her husband and blamed sexism for it. 

In the video, Melinda printed out small photos of the items she wanted Adam to buy at the grocery store. She perfectly cut out photos of items like Allegra, Cheerios and Listerine, and then she pasted them onto the list. The TikTok received 21.2 million views. 

Then user @notwildin summed up how many felt about Melinda’s “joke” in a stitch of the TikTok. He called Adam’s behavior “performative incompetence” or “weaponized incompetence.” 


#stitch with @adamxmelinda this is kind of a ramble but hold it

♬ original sound – NotWildlin

“What this husband is doing is exaggerating their own incompetence and exaggerating their own incapability to force the labor that they don’t want to do onto their partner,” he explained.

The idea here is to convince the wife that her husband is so incompetent that doing the task herself would just be easier. 

As the husband, “you’ve set the expectations for your own capabilities so low that whatever you end up doing is incredible,” he added

TikTokers agreed with @notwildin’s commentary, which scored over 4.4 million views. 

“I’ve noticed men do this so much. They act like they can’t do things until their partner or mom will just do it,” one user said

“You are literally so right,” another added.

“It’s ridiculous and so common, a boyfriend told me that he once messed up laundry so his mom would do it,” a person commented

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