TikTok user shares list of ‘red flags’ she learned from her ‘toxic’ engagement

A woman is going viral after sharing the list of “red flags” she wishes she’d recognized earlier in her engagement.

Devin Allen, one of the founders of the breakup advice blog, d.i.y. BreakUp, posted the warning signs in a series of TikTok videos.

Allen says she broke off her engagement 90 days before her wedding, after finding out her fiancé was cheating on her. Her TikToks detail the “toxic” and suspicious behaviors she now realizes she should’ve paid closer attention to.

In one video, Allen tells a story about seeing her fiancé touching another woman’s thigh in a bar. She says she confronted him later on, but he completely denied it.


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Allen explains in her video that she now realizes she was being gaslit.

“We go home later that night, I ask him about the situation: ‘Who was that girl?'” she says. “He completely spins it back on me, doesn’t answer my questions … and says I’m the one being sneaky on him and spying on him.”

She adds that her fiancé told her he didn’t know if he could marry someone who “didn’t trust him.”

“I basically caught him red-handed,” Allen says. “And I apologized and that was the end of the fight.”

In another video, Allen recalls a time she was laying next to her fiancé saw a text appear on his phone. After noticing that the message contained a photo of another woman, she asked him to explain.

“He had the text saved as one of his friend’s names — it was his friend who had a fiancé,” Allen says. “He said the friend was cheating with a woman they went to high school with, and he was showing off by sending these videos.”


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“Of course I believed him, [and] required no further explanation,” Allen adds. “I said I was appalled — that I couldn’t believe his friend would do this. He agreed, and that was it.”

Allen says in her first video that she hopes her “red flag” stories will help other people realize the warning signs that they may be in a bad relationship.

For many TikTok users, it seems she’s doing exactly that. Her clips, which have received tens of thousands of views, have drawn plenty of praise from other commenters.

“Thank you!!! Needed an account like yours right now,” one user wrote.

“These red flag stories are so good for those who have fortunately never had to learn the hard way,” another added.

If you liked this story, check out the latest edition of Group Chat, In The Know’s new advice column.

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