Ranking the weirdest canned foods I could find

Canned foods make me think of convenient cooking, school food drives and underground bunkers in movies about aliens or the end of the world.

As our real world appears to collapse, and an impending apocalypse seems more and more likely, my first thought is: I am not ready.

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I do not have a survival kit nor am I prepared for anything, so for this episode of Tried It!, I thought I’d experiment with trying out some canned foods — you know, just in case civilization ends sometime soon.

But these aren’t just your typical canned corn or whatever. For the worst-case scenario, I imagine grocery stores will run out of those first. So instead, I have three pretty unusual canned foods to taste test for the end of the world.

The Lineup:

1. Canned alligator meat. I’ve actually had alligator meat before — not to brag — in Florida. But it was fried, and I’ll honestly eat a napkin if it’s fried.

2. Canned rattlesnake meat. Maybe this will help me overcome my fear of snakes.

3. Finally, canned bread. This is so baffling to me that I had to try it out — just to see what canned bread even looks like.

Canned alligator and canned rattlesnake were actually pretty easy to get on the internet. And canned bread is readily available at some grocery stores.

The Taste Test:

The alligator supposedly tastes best served hot and on top of rice. But I did neither of those things and just ate it straight out of the can. The texture was pretty similar to chicken — at least that is what I kept telling myself — and there was a perfumey element to the taste too.

The canned rattlesnake warned against the number of bones that were in the can. My outtakes from filming myself eating rattlesnake are minutes long because I could not stomach the idea of putting a bunch of tiny bones in my mouth. Rattlesnake does not taste like chicken, but I believe it was mixed in with some gravy. So, I think the familiarity of gravy made it tolerable. There were a lot of bones.

Canned bread smelled like a little bakery, which was pleasant, and I have no idea what I expected otherwise. The texture was more like a loaf than a regular piece of bread. But, it was definitely the best canned food experience out of the three. Mostly because there weren’t any bones.

The Winner

Ultimately, canned bread is the winner in terms of taste, but I’m not entirely ruling out the other two. Who knows what I’ll need down in my apocalypse bunker.

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