A 32-year-old mother of three took to Reddit’s “Am I the A******” in search of advice after yelling at her husband in front of her 4- and 6-year-old kids. She had reached her breaking point and exploded at him because of his cruel tactic to make her lose postpartum weight.
“I gave birth back in October. Since then, it’s been extremely difficult for me to lose the baby weight … mainly due to my postpartum depression,” she explained. “I get next to no sleep … and most mornings, I can barely get out of bed, much less drive to the gym. It’s been a dark few months for me.”
Postpartum depression is a long-lasting depression that occurs after having a baby. Up to one in seven women experience postpartum depression, according to the American Psychological Association (APA).
The Reddit poster explained that she shared her feelings with her partner.
“I’ve told these things to my partner ‘Dave’ (43 M) and though he said he understood, I don’t think he really does. Though never explicitly stating it, he makes jokes and comments that imply I’m lazy and that he’s no longer attracted to me.”
Lack of support
The husband’s approach fails to support his wife and instead blames her for her feelings.
“Last week, I broke down to him about not being able to lose the weight, and he said that he would push me to do so because he loves me,” she continued. “Since then, he’s taken a ‘Biggest Loser’ approach and started calling me ‘Ms. Piggy’ and has instructed all of my friends and family, even my kids, to do so. I hate this nickname, but he says it’s supposed to motivate me to lose weight … I feel really undermined while parenting because [of] this nickname.”
Unsurprisingly, this nickname tactic only escalated things further.
“The other night, my family was eating and my children started oinking at me, and out of frustration, I started yelling at my husband. We have a rule not to yell in front of the kids, but we’re almost always in front of the kids during quarantine and I feel so dismissed. The kids started crying and Dave says I’m to blame.”
Redditers quickly jumped into the comments to support the poster.
“This is bullying and abusive. What is wrong with your partner? He’s belittling you in your own eyes and your childrens’ you have every right to be upset,” wrote one commenter, who got thousands of upvotes.
“Even if it’s intended to help, it’s still a fundamental violation of your human agency and right to feel comfortable in your own home, and it’s not something that should be done without your consent,” wrote another.
Bullying someone about their weight can not only harm their self-esteem, but it can also lead to unhealthy and dangerous eating habits. According to the National Eating Disorders Organization, 65% of people with eating disorders say bullying contributed to their condition.
Clearly, this husband’s behavior is doing much more harm than good when it comes to helping his wife overcome postpartum depression and her weight-loss goals.
If you are feeling symptoms of postpartum depression, which can affect any woman who’s given birth, the APA recommends seeking help from a licensed mental health provider and/or primary health care provider.
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