Disagreement over ‘cheap’ engagement ring leads to breakup: ‘Feels like a bad joke’

An engaged woman sparked a massive discussion online after she admitted that she was angry with her fiancé over a $150 engagement ring — but the tables quickly turned in a twist that no one saw coming.

Writing under the name bowdownpls, she shared her conflict on Reddit’s AITA (Am I The A******) forum — and it later caused quite the buzz on Twitter as well.

‘The mood got awkward’

In her post, she explained that her fiancé gave her a “nice and understated” ring, which was fine, but she knew he could have done better.

“When friends or family get engaged … someone will ask to see the ring and then everyone coos over it and it’s a good time,” she wrote. “When I showed mine the mood got awkward and they feigned excitement just long enough until it was okay to change the topic.”

Bowdownpls said she was not expecting a “3 months salary” ring or a massive wedding, but she considered the ring to be a “symbol of love” — and this one was “cheap looking.”

“But I really don’t think I’m out of line for thinking of it as a long term investment piece given the amount of wear it will see and the sentimentality behind it,” she wrote. “Surely it is worth more than a gaming console?!”

She explained in an update that they had discussed the overall style of the ring she wanted and he had access to all her jewelry to get a feel for what she typically wears, but price was never something they talked about, although he’s bought her fine jewelry in the past.

“I can be unhappy with the ring while still being madly in love with my fiance and thrilled to spend our lives together,” she said.

At first, bowdownpls seemed committed to her fiancé in spite of the perceived slight, and most commenters agreed that this wasn’t worth breaking up over — until the third update came.

‘Feels like a bad joke’

When she began to confront him about the ring, he “blew up.”

“Started yelling ‘f****** finally’ and how I’d ruined everything by waiting so long,” she wrote.

She said he revealed that he bought a less-than-stellar ring on purpose so he could dump her and claim she was a “gold digger.”

“He has apparently been having an affair … with a ‘younger model’ that he’s ‘earned’ but knew that breaking things off when everyone loved me so much would ‘hurt his optics’ so he had to make it my fault,” the Redditor wrote.

She said that this would be their final update, admitting she was “ashamed” she didn’t realize what was going on all along and later added that it “certainly feels like a bad joke.”

‘Dodging a missile’

Commenters came to her defense, for the most part.

“Kudos to [bowdownpls] and her spidey sense regarding the inappropriateness of the ring she was given,” one Redditor wrote. “If she had followed the advice of those who told her she was shallow and should live with the cheap ring, she would have made the worst mistake of her life.”

“Wasn’t expecting that,” another said. “consider yourself ‘dodging a bullet’ — more like ‘dodging a missile’ … he tried gaining sympathy points by manipulating you. He deserves everything bad in life.”

Bowdownpls refers to the fiancé as her “ex” in her update, so it’s safe to say they’ve broken up — and it’s for the best.

If you liked this story, check out the latest edition of Group Chat, In The Know’s new advice column.

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