One woman on TikTok is resonating with audiences after disclosing her insecurities about dating in her late 20s.
On May 3, Lex (@lexaveee) got vulnerable on the app when she discussed feeling as though she was undateable.
“I’m gonna be completely transparent right now. I just finished having the biggest mental breakdown, and I wanna talk about it,” she starts.
Lex talks about her friend who, after recently getting out of a four-year relationship, is dating someone new.
“I have a friend that was in a four-year relationship, and she was broken up with in March. I randomly got this urge to text her today to just as her how she’s doing and if she’s feeling any better,” she explains. “And our conversation was going on, and she told me that she’s already dating someone new.”
Despite being happy for her friend, Lex can’t help but feel insecure about her own dating life in comparison.
“And I just want to preface this by saying I am so happy for her that she was able to find someone that fast, but I cannot help but compare myself to that and ask myself, why is it so easy for some people to date and find relationships that fast, let alone that quickly after just ending a really long relationship?” she asks. “And then you’ve got people like me who are in their late 20s and cannot even get someone to wanna to commit to them.”
According to data obtained from the General Social Survey in 2019 via The Washington Post, “just over half of Americans between the ages of 18 and 34 — 51 percent of them — said they do not have a steady romantic partner.” This figure is representative of the fact that singlehood throughout one’s 20s is growing in prominence.
“I’m not gonna lie, it really makes me feel terrible about myself,” Lex adds. “Like, I cannot help but wonder if there is something wrong with me. Genuinely. Like, do I put forth some sort of repellent? Like, I truly do not understand.”
Per a 2017 report from the Pew Research Center, among young Americans who’ve yet to get married but are open to it, a big factor is that they just haven’t found the person they want to be with yet.
Lex admits that she doesn’t know the seriousness of her friend’s new relationship, but it’s the fact that she found someone to treat her well enough so quickly that affects her.
“I just do not understand the way these things go and, like, I just wonder, when will it ever be my turn?” she says. “Will I ever get a turn?”
“I’m 26 and I feel this! never had a boyfriend. But everyone around me has no issues with dating.”
TikTok users have flocked to Lex’s comments to offer support and to thank her for voicing what they’ve also been feeling.
“My friends always say it will be when you least expect it.’ I understand they mean well, but I’m tired of hearing it lol,” @madiwan_ wrote.
“I’m 26 and I feel this! never had a boyfriend. But everyone around me has no issues with dating,” @authorjezebelrush replied.
“The fact that you’re being so honest here shows how authentic and genuine you are – a lot of people run from that because they don’t want to be honest,” @user345571000837 commented.
“I have this exact mental breakdown at least twice every week,” @coolchickclaire revealed.
“I don’t feel like people in the comments are getting it,” @user11495020184 said. “Like yes she may be be jumping but I can’t even find someone to jump to?! That’s the point.”
Lex replied to @user11495020184, “lmao this comment is truly superior to all you’re right, what you said was *supposed* to be the point of this hahaha.”
Although Lex may feel undesirable because she isn’t in a relationship, your 20s, according to Leigh Taveroff for Today’s Lifestyle via The Cut, are meant for self-exploration.
“These years are extremely important: you’re meant to be finding out who you are and building a foundation for the rest of your life,” Taveroff wrote. “You don’t want to get too caught up in someone else’s problems, triumphs and failures, and forget to be experiencing your own. At the end of the day, your 20s are the years where YOU DO YOU. Be selfish, have fun and explore the world.”
While valid, the feeling that you’ve fallen behind due to your lack of dating experience at this phase in your life isn’t exactly true — you’re just spending more time focusing on yourself.
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